9
THE JOKER
[Hits Robin with a crowbar] Wow. That looked like it really hurt. [hits him again] Whoa, now, hang on. That looked like it hurt a lot more. So, let's try and clear this up, okay, pumpkin? What hurts more? A? [hits him again] Or B? [hits him again] Forehand? [hits him again] Or backhand? [hits him again, and laughs. Robin then mumbles something, and Joker leans in, imitating the noise] A little louder, lamb chop. I think you may have a collapsed lung. That always impedes the oratory. [Robin spits in his face; Joker slams his head into the floor] Now, that was rude! The first Boy Blunder had some manners. [Robin grins at him as he wipes the blood away] I suppose I'm going to have to teach you a lesson so you can better follow in his footsteps. [pause] Nah. I'm just gonna keep beating you with this crowbar. [Joker laughs as he continues beating Robin]
6
NIGHTWING
You know what I miss most about running with you? The toys.
4
JASON TODD
Ignoring what he's done in the past. Blindly, stupid, disregarding the entire graveyards he's filled, the thousands of who have suffered, the friends he's crippled. You know, I thought... I thought I'd be the last person you'd ever let him hurt. If it had been you that he beat to a bloody pulp, if he had taken you from this world, I would've done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil death-worshiping garbage and sent him off to hell.
BATMAN
You don't understand. I don't think you'd ever understood.
JASON TODD
What? What, your moral code just won't allow for that? It's too hard to cross that line?
BATMAN
No. God Almighty, no. It'd be too damned easy. All I've ever wanted to do is kill him. A day doesn't go by I don't think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he's dealt out to others and them end him.
JOKER
Aw. So you do think about me.
BATMAN
But if I do that, if I allow myself to go down into that place, I'll never come back.
JASON TODD
Why? I'm not talking about killing Penguin or Scarecrow or Dent. I'm talking about him. Just him. And doing it because... Because he took me away from you.
BATMAN
I can't. I'm sorry.
3
RED HOOD
Just be happy I only killed one of them. They're all assassins.
BATMAN
And what are you?
RED HOOD
I'm cleaning up Gotham. More than you ever did.
BATMAN
You're stealing territory from Black Mask and killing anyone who gets in your way.
RED HOOD
Black Mask is just a part of the plan.
BATMAN
Plan? You're becoming a crime lord.
RED HOOD
Yes. You can't stop crime. That's what you never understood. I'm controlling it. You wanna rule them by fear. But what do you do with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out!
BATMAN
Tell me what happened to you. Let me help.
RED HOOD
It's too late. You had your chance. And I'm just getting started.
2
THE JOKER
[after finishing beating Robin] Okay, kiddo, I gotta go. It's been fun, though, right? [silence from Robin] Well, maybe a smidge more fun for me than you. I'm just guessing since you're being awful quiet. Anyway, be a good boy, finish your homework, and be in bed by nine. And, hey — please tell the big man I said..."hello". [laughs hysterically]
2
BOBO
Okay, crazy man, this is all very generous. But why in the hell should we listen to you?
TYLER
Damn.
RED HOOD
Those are the heads of all of your lieutenants. That took me two hours. You wanna see what I get done in a whole evening?
THE JOKER
[to Batman] You look good. Been working out? You could probably use a little sun... but then, who am I to talk? [laughs]
BATMAN
[handing the Joker a photo of the Red Hood] He's calling himself the Red Hood. What do you know about it?
THE JOKER
That he has horrible taste! When I wore that number, it was classy — more flashy maitre d' than motorcycle fetish. These kids today...
NIGHTWING
If you have anything to do with this, we will find out. You can't...
THE JOKER
Oh, Bird Boy, you're so much less fun now! All grown up and in your big-boy pants. [maliciously] Still, better off than his replacement, right? Even tougher making with the yuks when you're worm food, huh?
THE JOKER
[smiles cruelly] You going to do it this time, or just put me in another body cast for six months?
THE JOKER
So... disappointing. But, back to the matter at hand: this new Hoodie. Do you really think I would stir up all this trouble and not make sure you knew it was me? [laughs maniacally]
1
JOKER
No! Don't spoil it, this is better. [Tackles Batman and attempts to strangle him] I'm the only one who's going to get what he wants tonight. Yes! Bing-Bang-Boom! We all go out together. Don't you just love a happy ending? [Begins laughing until Batman punches him out cold]
1
JOKER
[strikes Robin with crowbar] What hurts more? A? Or B? Forehand? Or backhand? [ puts his ear to Robin's face] A little louder, lamb chop. I think you may have a collapsed lung. That always impedes the oratory.
JOKER
Now, that was rude. The first boy blunder had some manners. I suppose I'm going to have to teach you a lesson so you can better follow in his footsteps. Nah, I'm just gonna keep beating you with this crowbar.
1
BOBO
Okay, crazy man, this is all very generous. But why in the hell should we listen to you?
TYLER
Damn.
RED HOOD
Those are the heads of all of your lieutenants. That took me two hours. You wanna see what I get done in a whole evening?
1
BLACK MASK
You wanna tell me why this guy ain't dead?
MS. LI
We're trying. We sent the Fearsome Hand of Four.
BLACK MASK
Four? Guess they're gonna need a new name. Why hasn't Batman wiped this little smear off the face of the planet?
MS. LI
Maybe he doesn't want to. Perhaps he's letting your and the Red Hood war it out. He could be waiting...
BLACK MASK
To take on the winner? What do you think this is? A tennis tournament?