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TRIP MCNEELY
[as he approaches a sulking Mike with a six-pack in hand] Hey man, you want a beer?
MIKE DEXTER
Trip McNeely!
TRIP MCNEELY
Trip McNeely.
MIKE DEXTER
No way, man!
MIKE DEXTER
Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
TRIP MCNEELY
Really? Which ones?
MIKE DEXTER
You must be racking up at college. College!
TRIP MCNEELY
I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
MIKE DEXTER
Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
TRIP MCNEELY
Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's even why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
MIKE DEXTER
[after an uneasy pause] S-so, what happened?
TRIP MCNEELY
[sighs] College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. They all wanna date older guys. [Tosses an empty beer can aside]
MIKE DEXTER
Yeah, but... not all of 'em, right?
TRIP MCNEELY
Way it goes. Hell, I even tried crawling back to Janeen. She was all cozy with some senior. He's a pre-med. They ALL are. Guys like us... we are a dime a dozen. [Belches and then chuckles] Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one.
MIKE DEXTER
[Lying to Trip] Yeah, [Scoffs] me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep.
TRIP MCNEELY
You're lucky, bro.
MIKE DEXTER
I sure am.
TRIP MCNEELY
Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you. [Farts] Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet. [Leaves]
MIKE DEXTER
[With a discouraged tone] Take it easy, Trip! Trip McNeely! All right...