1
SALLY BROWN
If anyone had told me I'd be waiting in a pumpkin patch on Halloween night, I'd have said they were crazy.
LINUS
Just think, Sally, when the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch, we'll be there to see him.
LINUS
What's that? What's that? I hear the Great Pumpkin!
LINUS
THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS! IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN! HE'S RISING OUT OF THE PUMPKIN PATCH!
LINUS
What happened? Did I faint? What did he leave us? Did he leave us any toys?
SALLY (ANGRILY)
I was robbed! I spent the whole night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, when I could've been out for tricks-or-treats! (gasps at what she just said) Halloween is over and I missed it! You blockhead! You kept me up all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and all that came was a beagle! I didn't get a chance to go out for tricks-or-treats! And it was all your fault! I'll sue! What a fool I was! I could've had candy, apples, and gum! And cookies and money and all sorts of things! But no! I had to listen to you. You blockhead. What a fool I was. Trick-or-treats come only once a year, and I miss it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead. (shakes him by his shirt) YOU OWE ME RESTITUTION!
LINUS
You've heard about fury in a woman scorned, haven't you?
CHARLIE BROWN
Yes, I guess I have.
LINUS
Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of tricks-or-treats.
LINUS
Hey! Aren't you gonna wait and greet the Great Pumpkin? Huh? It won't be long now. If the Great Pumpkin comes, I'll still put in a good word for you! (realizes what he just said) Good grief, I said if! I meant when he comes! I'm doomed. One little slip like that can cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by. (the camera zooms out to reveal the entire pumpkin patch) OH GREAT PUMPKIN, WHERE ARE YOU?!
1
PATTY
[as Linus is writing to the Great Pumpkin] You're wasting your time; the Great Pumpkin is a fake!
LINUS
[writing] Everyone tells me you are a fake, but I believe in you. P.S.: If you really are a fake, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
0
LINUS
[to Charlie Brown after Sally just ripped him a new one] You've heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven't you?
CHARLIE BROWN
Yeah, I guess I have.
LINUS
Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats.
0
PATTY
[as Linus is writing to the Great Pumpkin] You're wasting your time! The Great Pumpkin is a fake!
LINUS
[writing] Everyone tells me you are a fake, but I believe in you. P.S.: If you really are a fake, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
0
LINUS
[hears rustling] What's that? [pause] What's that?
0
LINUS
Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?
0
LINUS
[writing] Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.
0
LINUS
[to Sally as she walks away with everyone else] Hey, aren't you going to stay to greet the Great Pumpkin? Huh? It won't be long now. If the Great Pumpkin comes, I'll still put in a good word for you! [realizes what he just said] Good grief! I said "if"! I meant, "when" he comes! [calmly] I'm doomed. One little slip like that could cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by. Oh, Great Pumpkin, where are you?
0
LINUS
Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.
0
LUCY
Not again! Writing a letter to a stupid pumpkin! You make me the laughingstock of the neighborhood! All they talk about is my little brother, who always writes to the Great Pumpkin. You better cut it out right now or I'll pound you!
LINUS
There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.