8
CRYING GIRL
[reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. [about to cry]
DAMIAN
[shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
MS. NORBURY
Do you even go to this school?
CRYING GIRL
No... I just have a lot of feelings...
MS. NORBURY
Okay. Go home.
2
MS. NORBURY
[handing Cady her test back] Not your best.
KEVIN GNAPOOR
Damn, Africa, what happened?
1
MS. NORBURY
Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George? [she watches all students and teachers raise hands]
1
MS. NORBURY
You nervous?
CADY
Yes.
MS. NORBURY
Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
0
MR. DUVALL
So, uh... how was your summer?
MS. NORBURY
I got divorced.
MR. DUVALL
Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
MS. NORBURY
I win.
0
MS. NORBURY
[after implying that an elderly biker is her boyfriend] I'm kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
DAMIAN
My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk.
MS. NORBURY
Your nana and I have that in common.
0
DAMIAN
[to Cady] You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide!
MS. NORBURY
Thanks, Damian.
0
MS. NORBURY
Well, this has been sufficiently awkward...
0
MS. NORBURY
[to Cady] I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.
0
MR. DUVALL
So, uh... how was your summer?
MS. NORBURY
I got divorced.
MR. DUVALL
Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
MS. NORBURY
I win.
MR. DUVALL
Yes, you do. [turns to class] Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa.
MS. NORBURY
[to black Michigan girl] Welcome!
MICHIGAN GIRL
[offended] I'm from Michigan.
MS. NORBURY
Great!
MR. DUVALL
Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
CADY
That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
MR. DUVALL
My apologies. I have a nephew named Afernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Afernee.