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LITTLE JOHN
You're burning the chow!
ROBIN HOOD
Sorry, Johnny. I guess I was thinking about Maid Marian again. I can't help it. I love her, Johnny.
LITTLE JOHN
Look, why don't ya stop moanin' and mopin' around? J-Just marry the girl.
ROBIN HOOD
Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, "Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?" No, it just isn't done that way.
LITTLE JOHN
Ah, come one, Robby. Climb the castle walls. Sweep her off her feet. Carry her off in style.
ROBIN HOOD
It's no use, Johnny. I've thought it all out, and it just wouldn't work. Besides, what have I got to offer her?
LITTLE JOHN
Well, for one thing, you can't cook.
ROBIN HOOD
I'm serious Johnny. She's a highborn lady of quality.
LITTLE JOHN
So she's got class. So what?
ROBIN HOOD
I'm an outlaw. That's what. That's no life for a lovely lady. Always on the run. What kind of a future is that?
FRIAR TUCK
Oh, for heaven's sake, son. You're no outlaw. Why, someday, you'll be called a great hero.
ROBIN HOOD
A hero? Did you hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned!
LITTLE JOHN
Oh, that's a gas. We ain't even been arrested yet.
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LITTLE JOHN
You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.
ROBIN HOOD
Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.
LITTLE JOHN
Borrow? Boy, are we in debt.
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FRIAR TUCK
Alright, laugh, you two rouges, but there's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham.
FRIAR TUCK
Well done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a championship archery tournament tomorrow.
LITTLE JOHN
Archery tournament? Huh! Old Rob could win that standing on his head. Huh, Rob?
ROBIN HOOD
Thank you, Little John, but I'm sure we're not invited.
FRIAR TUCK
No, but there's somebody who will be very dissapointed if you don't come.
LITTLE JOHN
Yeah, ol' Bushel Britches, the Honorable Sheriff of Nottingham.
FRIAR TUCK
No, Maid Marian.
ROBIN HOOD
Maid Marian?
FRIAR TUCK
Yeah. She's gonna give a kiss to the winner.
ROBIN HOOD
A kiss to the winner? Oodelaly! Come on, Johnny! What are we waiting for?
FRIAR TUCK
Wait a minute, Rob. Hold it. That place will be crawling with soldiers.
ROBIN HOOD
Ah, but remember... faint hearts never won fair lady. Fear not, my friends.
ROBIN HOOD
This will be my greatest performance.
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LITTLE JOHN
You know something, Robin? You're taking too many chances.
ROBIN HOOD
Chances? You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark, Little John.
LITTLE JOHN
Oh, yeah? Take a look at your hat. That's not a candle on a cake.
ROBIN HOOD
[regarding the arrow in his hat] Hello! This one almost had my name on it, didn't it? They're getting better, you know. You've got to admit it! They are getting better.
LITTLE JOHN
Yeah, the next thing you know, that sheriff will probably have a rope around our necks! Pretty hard to laugh hanging there, Rob!
ROBIN HOOD
The sheriff and his whole possy couldn't lift you off the ground.
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LITTLE JOHN
[after sitting on Hiss] Oh, excuse me, Buster.
HISS
Buster? You, sir, have taken my seat!
PRINCE JOHN
[laughs] Hiss, with you around, who needs a court jester?
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ROBIN HOOD
That's all of them. Get going!
ROBIN HOOD
That's all of them. Get going!
LITTLE JOHN
This ain't no hayride. Let's move it outta here. Hoooooo!
LITTLE JOHN
This ain't no hayride. Let's move it outta here. Hoooooo!
FRIAR TUCK
On to Sherwood Forest!
FRIAR TUCK
On to Sherwood Forest!
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SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM
[Little John is secretly holding a dagger on Prince John and demanding Robin Hood's release] There's something funny going on around here.
LITTLE JOHN
[whispering] Now, tell my pal to kiss Maid Marian, or I've just found a new pincushion.
SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM
Why, you!
PRINCE JOHN
[shouts] Kill him! Don't stand there, kill him!
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ROBIN HOOD
[He and Little John are dressed as Gypsy women] Ooh-de-la-lay! Ooh-de-la-lay! Fortune tellers!
LITTLE JOHN
Fortunes forecast! Lucky charms!
ROBIN HOOD
Catch the dope with your horoscope!
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ROBIN HOOD
[sees Maid Marian] There she is, Little John. Isn't she beautiful?
LITTLE JOHN
Cool it, loverboy! You're heart's running away with your head!
ROBIN HOOD
Ah, stop worrying. This disguise will fool my own mother.
LITTLE JOHN
Yeah, but your mom ain't here. You gotta fool ol' Bushel Britches.
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LITTLE JOHN
I am Sir Reginald, Duke of Chatne... and don't stick your tongue out at me, kid.