1
MAURICIO
The thing is all the women he's been seeing are ugly.
TONY ROBBINS
Who says they're ugly?
MAURICIO
Bausch & Lomb.
1
TONY ROBBINS
Haven't you ever heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?
MAURICIO
Have you heard the song "Who Let The Dogs Out"?
-1
TONY ROBBINS
You got a pattern of judging women by their exterior, we can't talk about it, we need to break it, I want you to ask yourself has there ever been a time where you have been increasingly shallow, you just looked at a woman and thought you were better then she was.
HAL
All the time.
TONY ROBBINS
[yells] DEVILS COME OUT!
HAL
What the hell are you doing banana hands?
TONY ROBBINS
Just hang on, remember how I told you we just got to jolt your nervous system, not just talking about it, now I want you to relax, I won't do that again.
HAL
Ok, I didn't mean the banana hands thing.
TONY ROBBINS
That's ok.
-1
HAL
See, the problem is I'm kinda picky
TONY ROBBINS
What do you mean, picky?
HAL
Well, for instance, I like 'em real young. Like, did you ever see Paulina in her first "Sports Illustrated" layout?
TONY ROBBINS
You're looking for a young Paulina type?
HAL
Well, that face, but with better headlights. You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? Heidi Klums beams would do. And her teeth. Or, ooh, that Britney Spears girl. She's got great knockers. But she's a tad muscular. Uh, actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grille. Like, uh, Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did "Grease 2". But she'd have to be a little smilier than Michelle. Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. You know what I mean. Someone like that.
-2
TONY ROBBINS
Hal, don't you think you're being a bit shallow here in the way you look at women?
HAL
Well, no! You know, I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too.
TONY ROBBINS
Ok Hal, hypothetical situation; Which do you prefer, a girlfriend missing one breast or half a brain?
HAL
Hmmm, toughie. What about the remaining breast? Is it big?