5
LONG DUK DONG
What's happenin', hot stuff?
4
LONG DUK DONG
Oh, sexy girlfriend!
2
LONG DUK DONG
Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
MIKE BAKER
It's a quiche.
LONG DUK DONG
How do you spell?
GRANDPA FRED
Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.
0
LONG DUK DONG
Lake (laughing). Big lake.
0
HOWARD
Dong. Where is my automobile?
LONG DUK DONG
Oto-mo-biiile?
0
LONG DUK DONG
Okay. I'm comin'. [opens closet door] Hello? Jeez, this place is so confusing. Okay. [opens front door, screams and shuts door] Go away! I call F.I.B. I call police! Go away!
JAKE
Open the door.
LONG DUK DONG
No way, Jose!
LONG DUK DONG
You beat up my face.
JAKE
You grabbed my nuts.
LONG DUK DONG
[looks through frosted glass on door] Is that you?
JAKE
Yeah, that me.
LONG DUK DONG
[opens door] Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you my new - new-style American girlfriend.
JAKE
Forget it, man. Just get Samantha, all right?
LONG DUK DONG
She not here.
JAKE
Don't jerk me around, man. Where is she?
LONG DUK DONG
She got married.
JAKE
What?
LONG DUK DONG
She at the church. She getting married to oily bohunk.
JAKE
Married?
LONG DUK DONG
Married.
LONG DUK DONG
Yeah. Married [closes door]
JAKE
[turns around, under breath to himself] Married?
LONG DUK DONG
Married! Jeez.
0
LONG DUK DONG
No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food!
0
LUMBERJACK
What's your last name?
LONG DUK DONG
Dong.
LUMBERJACK
What's your first name?
LONG DUK DONG
Long.
LUMBERJACK
What's your middle name?
LONG DUK DONG
Duk.
-1
LONG DUK DONG
Automobile?
-5
JAKE
Open this door!
LONG DUK DONG
No way, Jose!
JAKE
Open the door!
LONG DUK DONG
You punch my face!
JAKE
You grabbed my nuts!