2
MRS. BLECKNER
You're a storyteller, Thomas. Do you know what storytellers do?
THOMAS MILLER
They tell stories?
MRS. BLECKNER
No. They tell...yes, they tell stories.
1
THOMAS MILLER
I'd like to say something in my defense.
JACKIE HOFFMAN
Don't speak.
THOMAS MILLER
But she...
JACKIE HOFFMAN
Shh!
0
THOMAS MILLER
And that, Mrs. Bleckner, is why I don't have the formula on your desk. So very, very sorry.
MRS. BLECKNER
Let's try this one more time, shall we? Your math homework, Mr. Miller. And please refrain from patronizing me with "my dog ate it" or "my grandmother passed away".
THOMAS MILLER
Actually, you see, it's sort of a combination thing. The truth is, my grandmother was helping me with my homework. Bless her soul. Then my dog pounced on the kitchen table and ate her. Yep! That's why I don't have my homework. My dog ate my grandmother.
0
THOMAS MILLER
I need to explore all my options.
JACKIE HOFFMAN
I'm your only option.
0
JACKIE HOFFMAN
Let me understand. I continue to be the only person who actually listens to your outrageous stories.
0
THOMAS MILLER
Yo, dog. [dog turns to him] How do I look?
0
THOMAS MILLER
[Thomas has just knocked Mr. Randall off a ladder] Oops, sorry.
MR. RANDALL
[groaning] "Oops, sorry"?
0
JACKIE HOFFMAN
[to Thomas] You're so disturbed. [smiles]
0
DRAKE CHAPMAN
What's going on Mildred?
THOMAS MILLER
Hello Drake. So what's it going to be today? Stuff me in a locker? Shake me down for loose change? Hey, you know what's always fun? Hanging me from the flagpole by my underwear? People laugh, they cry, they go home happy. Always a real crowd pleaser.
JACKIE HOFFMAN
Why are you giving him ideas?
THOMAS MILLER
Because he is too dumb to come up with them on his own.
DRAKE CHAPMAN
Did you just call me dumb?
0
THOMAS MILLER
Chicks dig the tuba guy.