27
THE DUDE
Hey, no, come on, Walter. We're ending this thing cheap, man.
WALTER SOBCHAK
No, what's mine is mine.
NIHILIST
No funny shtuff.
THE DUDE
Alright, alright, I've got four dollars, almost five...
DONNY
Hey, I got eighteen dollars.
WALTER SOBCHAK
What's mine is mine.
NIHILIST
We fuck you ups, man. We takes the money.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Come and get it.
9
NIHILIST
We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson.
THE DUDE
Excuse me?
NIHILIST
I said
NIHILIST
We'll cut off your johnson!
NIHILIST #2
Just think about that, Lebowski.
NIHILIST
Yeah, your wiggly penis, Lebowski.
NIHILIST #3
Yeah and maybe we stomp on it and squoosh it, Lebowski.
0
THE DUDE
Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.
NIHILIST
Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.
NIHILIST #2
Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
NIHILIST #3
Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
THE DUDE
You don't HAVE the fucking girl, dipshits! We know you never did!
DONNY
Are these the Nazis, Walter?
WALTER SOBCHAK
No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
NIHILIST
Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
THE DUDE
Hey, cool it Walter.
WALTER SOBCHAK
No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
NIHILIST #2
His girlfriend gave up her toe!
NIHILIST #3
She though we'd be getting million dollars!
NIHILIST #2
Iss not fair!
WALTER SOBCHAK
Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?
THE DUDE
Hey, cool it Walter. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man.
WALTER SOBCHAK
And, I would like my undies back.
DONNY
Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
WALTER SOBCHAK
No, Donny. These men are cowards.
NIHILIST
Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Fuck you.
-1
THE DUDE
Dude.
NIHILIST
[on the phone] Who is this?
THE DUDE
Dude. The bag man, man. Where do you want us to go?
NIHILIST
Us?
THE DUDE
[to Walter] Shit! [to Nihilist] Uh. Yeah, uh. Me and, uh, the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all at the same time.
NIHILIST
Shut the fuck up.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Dude, are you fucking this up?
NIHILIST
Who the fuck is that?
THE DUDE
That is the driver. [Nihilist hangs up] Shit! Walter, you fuck... you fucked it up! You fucked it up! Her life was in our hands, man!
WALTER SOBCHAK
Nothing is fucked here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude. They'll call back.
-3
THE DUDE
Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.
NIHILIST
No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
NIHILIST #2
Hey, cool it Walter. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man.
NIHILIST #3
And, I would like my undies back.
THE DUDE
Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?
DONNY
No, Donny. These men are cowards.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
NIHILIST
Fuck you.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.
THE DUDE
Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
NIHILIST #2
You don't HAVE the fucking girl, dipshits! We know you never did!
NIHILIST #3
Are these the Nazis, Walter?
NIHILIST #2
No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.
THE DUDE
Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
WALTER SOBCHAK
Hey, cool it Walter.
DONNY
His girlfriend gave up her toe!
WALTER SOBCHAK
She though we'd be getting million dollars!
NIHILIST
Iss not fair!
WALTER SOBCHAK
Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?