3
ANDY SACHS
My father is coming from Ohio this weekend!
EMILY CHARLTON
[doesn't say anything and imitates Andy making a stupid face]
2
EMILY CHARLTON
I'm sorry, do you have some prior commitment? Some hideous skirt convention you have to go to?
2
EMILY CHARLTON
[talking about Andrea] I absolutely have no idea why Miranda hired her.
SERENA
Tell me about it. We were in the Beauty Department and she held up this Shu Uemura eyelash curler and said "What is this?"
EMILY CHARLTON
[laughing] I just knew that when the first moment I saw her, she was going to be a complete and utter disas...
ANDY SACHS
[answering the phone] Miranda Priestly's office... No, she's not in right now but I'll leave word... OK, thanks. Bye.
EMILY CHARLTON
[shocked by Andrea's new look] How... Are you wearing the Ch...
ANDY SACHS
Chanel Boots? Yeah, I am.
SERENA
You look good.
SERENA
What? She does...
EMILY CHARLTON
Oh, shut up, Serena.
1
EMILY CHARLTON
See, I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything. And right before I feel I'm going to faint, I eat a cube of cheese. I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight.
1
EMILY CHARLTON
You went upstairs? Why didn't you just crawl into bed with her ask a bedtime story?
1
ANDY SACHS
Do you have anything fun planned for this weekend?
EMILY CHARLTON
Yes. [walks away]
1
EMILY CHARLTON
Okay, I am hearing this...
EMILY CHARLTON
And I want to hear this. [she closes her hand]
1
EMILY CHARLTON
Oh my god. No, no, no!
ANDY SACHS
What's wrong?
EMILY CHARLTON
[on telephone] She's on her way. Tell everyone.
NIGEL
Tsk. She's not supposed to be here until nine.
EMILY CHARLTON
Her driver just text messaged and her facialist ruptured a disc. God, these people.
NIGEL
[points at Andy and mouths] Who's that?
EMILY CHARLTON
That, I can't even talk about.
NIGEL
[opens the door] Alright everyone, gird your loins! [as he's leaving] Did someone eat an onion bagel?
ANDY SACHS
[looks slightly embarrased, starts smelling her breath]
0
EMILY CHARLTON
When I am not here... Andrea, you are chained to that desk!
ANDY SACHS
But what if I have to...
EMILY CHARLTON
What? No! Nothing! One time an assistant left the desk. Oh, because she sliced her hand open with a letter opener, and Miranda missed Lagerfeld just before he was about to board a 17 hour flight to Austrailia. She now works at TV Guide.
0
EMILY CHARLTON
You have some very large shoes to fill. I hope you know that.