7
GRANDPA
[voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
BUTTERCUP
Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
WESTLEY
As you wish.
GRANDPA
[voiceover] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
BUTTERCUP
Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
GRANDPA
[voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
BUTTERCUP
Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher.
THE GRANDSON
[interrupting] Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? [suspiciously] Is this a kissing book?
GRANDPA
Wait, just wait.
THE GRANDSON
Well, when does it get good?
GRANDPA
Keep your shirt on, and let me read.
1
THE GRANDSON
A book?
GRANDPA
That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.
THE GRANDSON
Has it got any sports in it?
GRANDPA
Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...
THE GRANDSON
Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.
GRANDPA
Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
1
GRANDPA
She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time
THE GRANDSON
What?
GRANDPA
The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you look nervous.
THE GRANDSON
I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit "concerned" but that's not the same thing.
0
GRANDPA
And as they reached for each other...
THE GRANDSON
What? What?
GRANDPA
Ah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear that.
THE GRANDSON
I don't mind so much.
GRANDPA
Oh, okay. [keeps reading]
0
GRANDPA
Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End.
0
GRANDPA
[reading to his grandson] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.
0
GRANDPA
Westley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered...
THE GRANDSON
-Murdered by pirates is good...
0
THE GRANDSON
Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.
GRANDPA
As you wish.
0
GRANDPA
It was ten days to the wedding. The King still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares were growing steadily worse.
THE GRANDSON
See didn't I tell you she'd never marry that rotten Humperdinck.
GRANDPA
Yes you're very smart. Shut up.