1
CATRIONA
[describes what can be done with the magazine] Well, we could tie that in with some... glasses. A friend of mine has got a shop with some lovely... glasses.
FLEUR
Henrietta?
CATRIONA
Yes. Maybe we could do some lovely... photos.
MAGDA
What about people? You know... Who's in, who's out, who's sexy, who's not sexy, who's clever, who's not clever.
CATRIONA
Right. Who's in, who's out.
MAGDA
Here's my list. Cross her off, she screwed me. Oh, and put him in, he screwed me. Do something on River Phoenix, I really fancy him.
CATRIONA
Right.
MAGDA
River Phoenix, Mickey Rourke, Liam Neeson. Don't do anything on anyone called Freud. I don't like them. Bunch of no-talents with an ancestor.
CATRIONA
But they were in last month.
MAGDA
So? I'm not running a bloody charity. Just because some old granddaddy invented penis-envy doesn't mean I have to lick their boots!
1
PATSY STONE
Magda!
MAGDA
Hello, Pats! How are ya? Unlucky business with the M.P. Still the "Hello!" thing should sort that out. I better make this quick I've got a lingerie opening and a feminine wash launch to get to by six, and all this with my working champagne lunch with Anouska bloody Hempel floating about here. This month I want articles about how lovely spending money is. Expensive things, the better cosmetics are great. I want money, money, money. Spend, spend, spend. I don't want to see any more photos of gormless skeletons with no brains, no make-up and no bloody tits.
PATSY STONE
Promoting bored teenagers won't sell a Chanel suit.
MAGDA
Naw, they're too thin!
PATSY STONE
Too young!
MAGDA
If the models get any younger, Pats, they'll be chucking foetuses down the catwalk!
-1
PATSY STONE
Take a holiday, darling. South of France.
MAGDA
I don't do holidays. Everybody's a nobody in a bikini.