2
LING WOO
It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.
2
LING WOO
I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!
0
NELLE PORTER
You having fun with this case?
LING WOO
It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.
0
LING WOO
I am really a very funny person.
0
LING WOO
Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up!
0
LING WOO
Do you know how his father died?
ALLY MCBEAL
No. Do you?
LING WOO
Yes, I overheard the nurses talking. He was crushed by a tree that was struck by lightning. THAT was an act of God, so we go after the Church, HOUSE of God. I need to pee. [exits]
ALLY MCBEAL
Where does she come up with these things?
NELLE PORTER
Well, Ling wasn't editor of law review for nothing.
ALLY MCBEAL
Ling went to Law School? Ling is a LAWYER?
0
LING WOO
I know I'm better than everybody else, Richard, but some times it's nice to HEAR it.
0
LING WOO
This woman drips with sarcasm at my personal expense.
NELLE PORTER
Ling, one of the disadvantages of having magnetism is that you bring people out, people that otherwise would go unnoticed. The fact that she can be so annoying is really a tribute to you!
0
LING WOO
So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
JACKSON DUPER
Hey, for all I knew...
LING WOO
You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
JACKSON DUPER
Look...
LING WOO
Why the alias? You wanted?
JACKSON DUPER
No.
LING WOO
Certainly not by me.
JACKSON DUPER
Excellent. Do I get to talk?
LING WOO
Fine. Quick, think up something.
LING WOO
We're back to look.
JACKSON DUPER
Hey...
LING WOO
We're back to hey.
JACKSON DUPER
Ling...
LING WOO
How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I *gave* it to you. What an odd thing to do.
0
NELLE PORTER
Ling, uh, do you still like this guy?
LING WOO
No! No, I-I'm with Richard now. I-I... I might... I mean, he's not Richard.
NELLE PORTER
Oh, come on. Richard has the depth of an ashtray. He's got nothing to offer but money and sperm, and you know it.