0
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
You know Quigley. He is a scheming...
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Assumpta, will you stop it. You make him sound like Don Corleone.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Well, he is. *Without* the morals.
0
FATHER MACANALLY
Grand idea. Wonder I never thought of it before.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
But I don't need a housekeeper. I can manage perfectly well.
FATHER MACANALLY
Nonsense, she'll be a godsend. A fine sensible woman around the place to keep an eye on things.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Kathleen's already convinced I'm a rabid communist; her cousin'll think I'm a devil-worshipper.
FATHER MACANALLY
Kathleen's cousin is a respectable widow and she comes highly recommended. Don't let superficial impressions cloud your judgement.
0
JENNY
Well, goodbye. It was still nice to see you.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
And you.
JENNY
Well, you'll know next time.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
I'm a priest.
JENNY
There'll be a next time.
0
BRIAN QUIGLEY
I heard you were looking for transport.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Brian, I'm fine for transport. Oh, and, um, while we're here...
BRIAN QUIGLEY
Yeah?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Right. It's just a small thing.
BRIAN QUIGLEY
No, no, no, no, go ahead, go ahead.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
When we're in here, I ask the questions.
0
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Why did you ask if I was a Catholic?
FATHER MACANALLY
Well, I would have asked you for a donation. *You* can't afford it.
0
0
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Have you heard the polar bear joke? OK. There's a baby polar bear, and he's in the sea and he climbs out and runs across the ice up to his mum, and he says, "Mum, are you sure I'm a polar bear?". She says, "Don't be silly, of course you are. You've got white fur, you eat fish, you're a polar bear. Don't be daft, get back in the sea." So he does, but he's not content. So he jumps out and this time he runs up to his dad, and he says, "Dad, am I really a polar bear?". He says, "What are you talking about? Of course you're a polar bear. You've got white fur, you eat fish, you're a polar bear. Why do you ask?" And the baby bear says, "Because I'm freezing."
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Why am I always thinking of you?
0
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Is that what you're looking for, Assumpta?
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
No. No, no, I don't know what I'm looking for. Anyway, I'm not likely to find it here. Am I?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
You can find it anywhere.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Do you believe everything you hear?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Why not? I'm a man of faith, aren't I?
-1
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
What are you playing at? What are you trying to do to me?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Assumpta, please.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Oh, that's what it is, you're worried about the neighbours now?
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Well?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Well, what? What do you want me to say?
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
I want you... What do you want?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
It's not that simple.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
It is that simple.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Not from where I'm standing.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Oh, for God's sake, Peter, we have moved on.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
I'm a Catholic priest.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Goes with the territory.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Cheap shot.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
It's the truth. For you and me, it's the truth.
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
Assumpta?
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Yes?
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
[sighs] You know what you're going to go and do now? You're going to go and discuss this in a wooden box with a grown man in a frock and you won't talk to me!
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
I will. I just need to think.
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
It's not what's in your head I need to hear.
-1
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
What about you?
ASSUMPTA FITZGERALD
Huh?
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD
You said *they* all wanted me to stay. What about you?