35
TYRONE BIGGUMS
Imma tell you something about me, Joe Rogan, that you might not know. I smoke rocks.
34
TYRONE BIGGUMS
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
21
TYRONE BIGGUMS
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack.
18
TYRONE BIGGUMS
Why do you think I carjacked you, Rhonda?
RHONDA
'Cause the cops found you in it three hours later asleep, high on crack!
TYRONE BIGGUMS
That's impossible, Rhonda. How can you sleep when you're high on crack? Chinese riddle for you.
13
JOE ROGAN
Tyrone, are you okay?
TYRONE BIGGUMS
[while walking painstakingly slowly over hot coals] Hey, Joe Rogan, is it almost lunchtime 'cuz I smell somebody cookin'!
JOE ROGAN
You win, you beat Jeff's time. You advance to the next round.
TYRONE BIGGUMS
My feet are strong!
10
INTERVENTION COUNSELOR
Harold, what time did you tell him to be here?
HAROLD
5:00. But he's always late.
RHONDA
Oh, he'll be here. In 3, 2, 1...
TYRONE BIGGUMS
[bursts inside room] Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?
9
TYRONE BIGGUMS
[hands full of money] Crack, here I come.
8
TYRONE BIGGUMS
You know what dog food tastes like? Do you? It tastes just like it smells... delicious.
7
TYRONE BIGGUMS
Harold, is anthrax bad?
1
TYRONE BIGGUMS
Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off and sniff it and get high.