0
FRASIER CRANE
Boy, I never felt so low in my life.
CLIFF CLAVIN
Well, Doc, if it means anything to you, I'm here for you.
FRASIER CRANE
It doesn't, Cliff, but thanks.
0
NORM PETERSON
I wish I had time for a hobby.
CLIFF CLAVIN
Norm, you've got time to make your own coal.
0
SAM MALONE
Say didn't we used to have a weekly Elizabethan poet night?
NORM PETERSON
It started getting too rowdy.
CLIFF CLAVIN
I remember the night you were charged with practicing iambic pentameter without a license.
0
SAM MALONE
[about some gay customers] What do you think I should say to them?
DIANE CHAMBERS
Oh well, it's very very simple. Just walk up and say hello we're a group of sniveling bigots and we don't care for your kind.
CLIFF CLAVIN
That's good.
0
SAM MALONE
First of all nobody resigns from a bar and second of all nobody resigns in Latin.
CLIFF CLAVIN
It's French, Sammy.
0
CLIFF CLAVIN
I'll go with you I know CPR.
NORM PETERSON
I'll go, I'm a CPA.
0
CLIFF CLAVIN
[trying to scratch a bikini off a card] There's something wrong here. I can't get the bikini off my girl.
NORM PETERSON
Story of your life, big guy.
0
CLIFF CLAVIN
[about women] They're only good for one thing.
CARLA TORTELLI
And for you, not even that.
0
DIANE CHAMBERS
You can't give her some standard pre-arranged speech you have for dumping women.
SAM MALONE
I do not have a standard pre-arranged speech for dumping women. Come on, every situation is different. For example now the speech I dumped you with will be totally inappropriate.
DIANE CHAMBERS
I don't think you dumped me.
SAM MALONE
Well you see that was the beauty of it. Come on give me credit will you, for knowing I couldn't possibly have one speech for every situation.
CLIFF CLAVIN
Yeah, he's got six.
0
CLIFF CLAVIN
As long as I'm carrying this bag there's one thing that will never touch these lips.
CARLA TORTELLI
You mean there's something that wants to?