5
DR. SPENCER REID
[after Garcia helps him sit down] Thanks.
PENELOPE GARCIA
Does it hurt?
DR. SPENCER REID
It really only hurts when I think about it which is pretty much all the time. [starts to snoop in the cookie tin next to him]
PENELOPE GARCIA
No, no, no. Get away you. [takes the lid]
DR. SPENCER REID
What?
PENELOPE GARCIA
These are for Hotch.
DR. SPENCER REID
I get *shot* in the leg and I don't get any cookies? You know he's gonna hate the attention.
PENELOPE GARCIA
[puts the lid back on] It's cookies, not cake.
4
PENELOPE GARCIA
[quickly to Hotch via webcam] The kid is tech savvy sir, but fret not. I am tech savvier. Is that a word? That sounds like a word. If it is a word, I am it.
EMILY PRENTISS
D.C. time, Garcia.
PENELOPE GARCIA
[looks at the clock] 11:17 a.m.
EMILY PRENTISS
D.C. - decaf.
PENELOPE GARCIA
Oh, right. [turns webcam off]
3
DR. SPENCER REID
[after Hotch throws him a folder] What's this?
AARON 'HOTCH' HOTCHNER
You told me you were cleared to travel. You lied.
EMILY PRENTISS
Naughty boy.
DR. SPENCER REID
Uh, *no* I *didn't.* I *am* a doctor, so *technically* it wasn't a lie.
PENELOPE GARCIA
What was it then?
DR. SPENCER REID
Um... second opinion?
PENELOPE GARCIA
Hmm. You're my bitch now. [leaves the room as Morgan chuckles]
3
PENELOPE GARCIA
[on the phone with Reid] How's my main man doing?
DR. SPENCER REID
Uh, on the completely safe assumption that you're not talking about me, let's just say I wouldn't wanna be this unsub when Morgan finally gets his hands on him.
PENELOPE GARCIA
That bad, huh?
DR. SPENCER REID
Has he ever yelled at you *before*?
PENELOPE GARCIA
[chuckles] Touche.
2
PENELOPE GARCIA
Rainmaker, how wet do you want it?
2
PENELOPE GARCIA
[of Hotch] Do you think he's ok?
DR. SPENCER REID
I wouldn't be, but I'm a blinker.
1
PENELOPE GARCIA
Oh, Will he looks just like you.
DETECTIVE WILLIAM LAMONTAGNE JR.
Let's hope he grows out of that.
EMILY PRENTISS
Just as long as he doesn't inherit the accent.
DR. SPENCER REID
[from outside the door] Is there room for one more in here?
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Spence, hi.
AARON 'HOTCH' HOTCHNER
[to Reid as he enters] Welcome back.
DR. SPENCER REID
Thanks. [looks at Henry] Wow. [to Will, extending his hand] Congratulations.
DETECTIVE WILLIAM LAMONTAGNE JR.
[takes Reid's hand] Thank you.
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
[to Reid] How is it that I just went through 15 hours of labor and... you look worse than I do? [laughs]
DR. SPENCER REID
Don't be ridiculous. You look beautiful.
DETECTIVE WILLIAM LAMONTAGNE JR.
Well I could sure use some coffee. Anyone else?
AARON 'HOTCH' HOTCHNER
Sure.
DETECTIVE WILLIAM LAMONTAGNE JR.
My treat.
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
[after Will, Hotch, Prentiss and Garcia leave; to Reid] You okay?
DR. SPENCER REID
Wow. Yeah, yeah.
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
You sure? Because there's something I wanted to ask you, but, it can wait.
DR. SPENCER REID
What is it?
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Will and I were talking and... we want you to be Henry's Godfather.
DR. SPENCER REID
I don't - I mean, I don't know...
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Here. You wanna hold him. It's okay. [hands Henry to Reid] Watch his head.
DR. SPENCER REID
Hi. Hello Henry.
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
If anything happens to us, it's up to you and Garcia to make sure this boy gets into Yale.
DR. SPENCER REID
Ooh. Yale. Yale! Do you wanna go to Yale, Henry? That was your Godfather's safety school. [whispers] Don't worry, I can get you into Cal Tech with one phone call.
1
AARON "HOTCH" HOTCHNER
How's it having Gideon around?
PENELOPE GARCIA
You can have him back whenever you would like.
1
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
[JJ and Reid are on the phone with Garcia. Reid is working at a glass evidence board. JJ sists in a chair] Penelope?
PENELOPE GARCIA
Are we in yet?
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
All yours.
PENELOPE GARCIA
[sighs] I always feel skeevy going through someone's life like this.
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Okay, so everything looks like it's password protected so you might not even be able to... you're in already, aren't you?
PENELOPE GARCIA
Password was "Cullen."
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Of course.
DR. SPENCER REID
[looks over] "*Colon?*"
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
*Cullen.* The vampire family from Twilight.
DR. SPENCER REID
What's Twilight?
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Do you ever read anything other than technical books.
DR. SPENCER REID
Mm. Not much in English. [looks back to his work]
PENELOPE GARCIA
Okay I'll see what I can dredge. My love is strong.
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
Okay. Thanks. [hangs up] How's the profile coming?
DR. SPENCER REID
I don't know. I never really feel ready, you know?
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
You'll be fine. I'm gonna go to talk to Tara's BFF before the media requests come in and it gets too crazy.
DR. SPENCER REID
What's a BFF?
JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU
[sighs] Best friend forever.
1
PENELOPE GARCIA
[answering call] Office of Unfettered Omniscience - how may I help you, O fortunate one?