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WILLIS JACKSON
[Mrs. Garrett catches the boys throwing punches] Uhhh, it's a new dance we're doing... It's called, ummm... The Punch Shuffle.
EDNA GARRETT
Now if Mr. Drummond catches you practicing fighting, you're gonna switch from the Punch Shuffle to the Bruised Bottom Blues!
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WILLIS JACKSON
Arnold's always under my feet. I'll never have any privacy until he gets married.
ARNOLD JACKSON
Married? On MY allowance?
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WILLIS JACKSON
Oh no...
WILLIS JACKSON
[crying] Oh no...
WILLIS JACKSON
Look at me. Crying just like a kid.
PHILIP DRUMMOND
No. Crying just like a man.
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PHILIP DRUMMOND
[meeting the boys for the first time] Welcome, Gentlemen!
WILLIS JACKSON
[confused, looking behind them] You talking to US?
PHILIP DRUMMOND
Of course.
ARNOLD JACKSON
How 'bout that, Willis? Downtown 2 minutes and already we're gentlemen.
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JERRY FULLER
You can't do this to me. The election's only three weeks away, what'll I do for a candidate?
PHILIP DRUMMOND
Oh that'll be easy. You just find this Jewish fellow married to an Italian wife, and they adopt a couple of Puerto Rican and Chinese kids and just happen to have an elderly black housekeeper with an Irish boyfriend. [Adelaide and the kids come out and cheer him on]
WILLIS JACKSON
That's telling him, Dad.
ADELAIDE BRUBAKER
I heard that over the hill remark, sonny!
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WILLIS JACKSON
[Arnold has just dropped a water bomb from the balcony] See ya later!
ARNOLD JACKSON
Where ya goin'?
WILLIS JACKSON
Where you ain't! I don't wanna be around when they lay the charge on you.
ARNOLD JACKSON
What charge?
ARNOLD JACKSON
Assault with a wet weapon!
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WILLIS JACKSON
[Arnold refuses to fight the school bully] Alright, Arnold. Then I'll just tell Mr. Drummond what a coward you are. He'll talk some sense into you. Think he wants a coward for a son?
ARNOLD JACKSON
Awww Willis, please don't say anything to him.
WILLIS JACKSON
Well, somebody's gotta make a man outta you.
ARNOLD JACKSON
What's the rush? I'm barely outta toilet-training.
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KIMBERLY DRUMMOND
Well, well, if it isn't Sleeping Beauty.
WILLIS JACKSON
You mean Sleeping Ugly.
ARNOLD JACKSON
I owe you an insult!
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PHILIP DRUMMOND
[after seeing Arnold's black eye from fighting with "The Gooch"] Arnold, I want to know. Did you go down there to talk or didn't you?
WILLIS JACKSON
All right, Mr. Drummond. Arnold went down there to talk with his fists.
ARNOLD JACKSON
And my fists had NOTHING to say!