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ELVIRA
This movie is dumber than Lindsay Lohan! Oh, I'm sorry, that's not fair... to the movie!
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ELVIRA
Nothing on Earth could make me be in a Roger Corman movie!
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ELVIRA
Okay, so we're starting to put together something that almost sounds like a plot. Turns out the ghost was a bit of an easy rider, always looking for a few good men, and when the baron caught her, not being in control of his anger management, he ripped her into five easy pieces! Now the departed is looking to get revenge for those terms of endearment. Whew! Wow. Boy, talk about a shining example of giving someone a plug.
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ELVIRA
Boy, if you woulda told me that that guy who played the French lieutenant with the worst French accent ever would go on to win three Oscars, I'd a smacked ya. Well, I'd smack ya anyway, but you'd probably like it too much.
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