3
PARIS GELLER
Well, the worst that can happen is that I spend some time in your town and suddenly have an urge to enter a pie in the county fair.
1
PARIS GELLER
So do you like your adoptive parents?
GIRL IN THE DORM
Yeah.
PARIS GELLER
I think it's good to be adopted. If you get sick of them, you just dump this set and go find the originals.
1
PARIS GELLER
[Rory and Paris are running inside to get out of the pouring rain] Out of the way! Move, move, move!
GIRL IN THE DORM
Is it raining?
PARIS GELLER
No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot!
0
RORY GILMORE
So I was thinking that maybe we could move it from this Saturday to next Saturday?
PARIS GELLER
Okay.
MADELINE LYNN
What did she say?
LOUISE GRANT
What did you say?
PARIS GELLER
I said okay.
0
RORY GILMORE
[when Rory, Paris, and Lane are all having relationship problems, Paris gets them each a cup of Miss Patty's alcoholic punch] Miss Patty's punch is used to clean tar off of construction sites.
PARIS GELLER
So let it clean the tar off of our souls.
0
MARTY
Okay. I actually snagged us some caviar. They were all out of toast points, but I think we can use Doritos and achieve a very similar result. [notices Anna] Hey.
RORY GILMORE
This is Anna.
MARTY
[gasps excitedly] Did Paris move?
PARIS GELLER
[from behind] I'm right here, Marty.
MARTY
I know, Paris.
0
PARIS GELLER
I can't do this.
RORY GILMORE
What?
PARIS GELLER
Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.
RORY GILMORE
Not true.
PARIS GELLER
I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat so we don't wind up in a restaurant that's really just a front for a cocaine laundering ring?
0
PARIS GELLER
You lost my number?
JAMIE
Nope, I memorized your number.
PARIS GELLER
You didn't wanna use my number?
JAMIE
I was starting classes.
PARIS GELLER
In phone dialing? How's it going?
0
PARIS GELLER
We're friends?
RORY GILMORE
I'm not sure if there is an exact definition for what we are, but I do think it falls somewhere in the bizarro friends-ish realm.
0
PARIS GELLER
I pierced my nose. And within an hour of having it done, my nose swelled up to four times its normal size, blocking all nasal passage, making it impossible to breathe. I went to the emergency room, where they pried the thing out of my nose and shot me up with antibiotics. I spent the night with an ice pack strapped to my face.
RORY GILMORE
Oh, Paris.
PARIS GELLER
It seems that I was allergic to the crap metal hoop that I paid $19.95 to have jammed into my nose.
LOUISE GRANT
Did you take a picture?
PARIS GELLER
No, Louise, I did not take a picture. I was a little busy trying to get air to my brain cells, a burden you've not yet faced.