7
LORELAI GILMORE
I'm mad and needy, and I ended up going out to dinner alone with my parents, who bickered the whole time about which Beatle is alive and which is dead.
RORY GILMORE
So, where'd they land?
LORELAI GILMORE
John and Keith are dead. Paul and Bingo are still kicking.
5
RORY GILMORE
I have no words...
LOGAN
It was just a joke!
RORY GILMORE
Oh, no, wait. I thought of some. Jerk! Ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, low-life, butt-face, miscreant!
LOGAN
'Butt-faced miscreant'!
RORY GILMORE
Why would you do something like that?
LOGAN
I'm sorry, 'butt-faced miscreant'?
4
LANE KIM
I wonder if Blanket ever met Tom and Katie's baby, Pillow.
RORY GILMORE
Yeah, that would be a perfect playdate.
LANE KIM
Yeah, when it's nap time, they would be totally set.
RORY GILMORE
And then they could invite Gwyneth's Apple over afterward for a little snack.
LANE KIM
And Banjo, Rachel Griffiths' baby could play for them.
RORY GILMORE
And then they could all jump in Mia Farrow's Satchel and make fun of what's-his-face?
LANE KIM
Oh, Pilot Inspektor Lee.
RORY GILMORE
Yeah.
3
LORELAI GILMORE
Hey, you didn't wake me up.
RORY GILMORE
I set the clock.
LORELAI GILMORE
Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall, giving me ample time to fall back to sleep; you, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the whole wake-up process!
LANE KIM
[pause] I'm gonna get a soda. Anybody want anything?
RORY GILMORE
Gum.
LORELAI GILMORE
Yes. The night of my fourteenth birthday back, so I could right the green-hot-pant-roller-disco-outfit wrong. Ugh.
LANE KIM
Coming right up.
2
RORY GILMORE
I can go from zero to studying in less than sixty seconds.
2
RORY GILMORE
Uhh, Barry Manilow.
LORELAI GILMORE
Ugh, stop.
RORY GILMORE
Looks like we made it...
LORELAI GILMORE
Oh, yeah? Spice Girls.
RORY GILMORE
Duran Duran.
LORELAI GILMORE
Dido.
RORY GILMORE
Olivia Newton John.
LORELAI GILMORE
The Macarena. You and Lane for hours and hours, for weeks on end.
RORY GILMORE
Hey, we were mocking. You can't mock the mocking.
LORELAI GILMORE
All right. It's getting ugly. Let's stop.
RORY GILMORE
Let's be friends again.
LORELAI GILMORE
All right.
RORY GILMORE
Hmm-hmm.
LORELAI GILMORE
Stop it.
2
RORY GILMORE
What's with the carrots?
LORELAI GILMORE
I was afraid you weren't eating well at school.
RORY GILMORE
Ohhh.
LORELAI GILMORE
Marshmallow?
2
LORELAI GILMORE
I swear, there is nothing in the world my mother is better at than getting someone to agree to something that in any other universe, they would never ever consider.
RORY GILMORE
Mom.
LORELAI GILMORE
I am still convinced she had something to do with Lily Tomlin doing that movie with John Travolta.
2
LORELAI GILMORE
Maybe they could stop by a bathing suit store along the way.
RORY GILMORE
My suit is fine.
LORELAI GILMORE
No, sure it is. It's nice to be able to go from the beach to the mosque without having to change.
1
RORY GILMORE
Patty! It's not like that. He's just a person.
MISS PATTY
A person?
RORY GILMORE
A boy-type person.
MISS PATTY
Oh, my favorite kind.