0
MICHAEL EVANS
Daddy, do you have a permit to own that gun?
JAMES EVANS, SR.
Yeah, I got a permit. I permit me to own a gun.
0
MICHAEL EVANS
One question asked "a mother, father and two children live in a residence with 5 bedrooms. The mother and father sleep in one bed and the two children each have their own bedroom. How many guest bedrooms are there?" How many kids in the ghetto are going to know what a guest bedroom is?
JAMES 'J.J.' EVANS, JR.
Yeah, the only time we get a guest room around here is when somebody puts a sleeping bag in the bathtub.
FLORIDA EVANS
And a lot of kids in the ghetto don't have their own bedrooms either.
0
MICHAEL EVANS
What's wrong, Penny? You look a little hum-drum! [Hushed] Between you, and me, did you have any of Thelma's soup?
THELMA EVANS
I heard that, buddy! Just for that, you're not getting any dinner!
MICHAEL EVANS
You promise?
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MICHAEL EVANS
[on Bookman finding another job] Yeah, but where do you put a man who's lazy, mouths off, and never keeps his promises?
JAMES 'J.J.' EVANS, JR.
Send him to Washington.
0
MICHAEL EVANS
Daddy high blood pressure can cause kidney malfunction!
JJ
In this house a person can get kidney malfunction waiting for Thelma to get outta the bathroom!
0
MICHAEL EVANS
Today is the first day of Black History Week.
J.J. EVANS
[about his painted portrait] Sweet Daddy Williams is black.
MICHAEL EVANS
But you should be painting someone more relevant to black history.
J.J. EVANS
Relevant? Are you jiving? Sweet Daddy Williams owns three apartment houses, two Cadillacs and a Lincoln. He ain't never worked a day in his life and he never been to jail. He's the SAME DUDE that got shot five times and ran seven miles to the hospital. Now if that ain't black history, I don't know what is.
-1
MICHAEL EVANS
Hey, Thelma. You about ready for that kissing booth?
THELMA EVANS
Yep, I've got my lips, and my lip gloss, and... Oh, Michael, you didn't tell me how much to sell my kisses for.
J.J.
Thelma, be ready to make change of a dime.
THELMA EVANS
You know something, if you were in there, it wouldn't be a kissing booth... it would be a house of horrors, you ugly monster.