1
SWEET DADDY
Sweet Daddy has to protect his image.
MICHAEL EVANS
How can you? Vampires don't cast images.
SWEET DADDY
I'll remember that, if you ever grow up.
1
MICHAEL EVANS
Penny, what's wrong? You look a little humdrum. Just between us, did you eat any of Thlema's soup?
THELMA EVANS
[Thelma re-enters the living room] Hey, I heard that, buddy! Just for that, you're not getting any dinner!
MICHAEL EVANS
You promise?
1
MICHAEL EVANS
Don't you know what today is?
J.J. EVANS
Yeah, Blue Monday. Followed by Broke Tuesday, followed by Disasters Wednesday. From there the rest of the week go DOWN HILL.
1
MICHAEL EVANS
Hey, Thelma, how do you like this?
THELMA EVANS
[takes close look at JJ's painting] What is it?
MICHAEL EVANS
Don't show your ignorance. This is Black Jesus.
THELMA EVANS
Black Jesus, my foot. That's Ned the Wino.
MICHAEL EVANS
You mean the dude who's always walking up and down the street drinking wine and preachin'?
THELMA EVANS
Ned the Wino, better known as the Ghetto Prophet.
MICHAEL EVANS
Yeah, he's always predicting the end of the world and asking for a dime for some wine, so he can die happy.
JAMES 'J.J.' EVANS, JR.
Which he does every night.
0
MICHAEL EVANS
Daddy friend Monte told him that everything's going to be okay.
FLORIDA EVANS
That's the same Monte who said that Nixon was going to be poor folks best friend.
0
PENNY
Is he here?
MICHAEL EVANS
Is who here?
PENNY
I don't know his name, but he's tall, skinny, and beautiful.
MICHAEL EVANS
Hold on now. Tall, and skinny we've got, but beautiful?
0
J.J
[Loretta goes into labor and JJ calls the doctor, frantic]
J.J
Hello? Doc? Look here! I got one of your patients here about to have a baby! See you at the clinic. Check?... Just do what? Are you sure you a baby Doctor? Oh! [JJ hangs up] I dialed the wrong number! I got the pet hospital!
MICHAEL EVANS
JJ, are you sure?
J.J
It musta' been! He told me to put Loretta in a cardboard box and let nature take it's course!
0
MICHAEL EVANS
[as the TV is being taken away] Goodbye John-Boy.
0
J.J.
Thelma, I think I got VD!
THELMA EVANS
VD! The only way you can get that is by... JJ!... well who is it? [JJ looks at her]... Mariaane Thomas? Sweet little Marianne Thomas? ooooooWOOO!
MICHAEL EVANS
[Michael comes out of the room with his text book] JJ what you say you got?
J.J.
VD
MICHAEL EVANS
[looking up VD] It says here you can only get VD by... ooooooWooo!
0
MICHAEL EVANS
[to the furniture movers] You're upsetting my sister. Thelma, please don't faint!
JAMES 'J.J.' EVANS, JR.
Thelma's gonna faint?
MICHAEL EVANS
Thelma, PLEASE don't faint.
THELMA EVANS
Oh my! I do feel weak! All the blood is rushing from my head! [falls on the floor]
MICHAEL EVANS
Get back, give her air.
JAMES 'J.J.' EVANS, JR.
This poor child ain't had nothing to eat for the last two weeks, except for some rotten oatmeal.
THELMA EVANS
Where am I?
JAMES 'J.J.' EVANS, JR.
Marshall Fields. Oh! Did you hear that? The poor child thinks she's in Marshall Fields!