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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
Please wait, I love you!
EVAN CHAMBERS
NO! YOU LOVE YOU!
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
[about Frannie] She is delusional! Like Britney Spears in a barber shop!
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
How's the head wound?
JEN K
I'm not showing any signs of a concussion so I should be ok.
CASEY CARTWRIGHT
Are you pre-med?
JEN K
No, just clumsy.
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REBECCA LOGAN
Spirit! Tell us who you are!
CASEY CARTWRIGHT
[the Ouija board spells out virgin] Virgin, I stand corrected, it's not Rebecca.
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
I kind of like... Max.
RUSTY CARTWRIGHT
I should warn him.
CASEY CARTWRIGHT
What do you mean?
RUSTY CARTWRIGHT
Cause you date like Sherman marched, Casey. With scorched earth, and broken spirits left in your wake.
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
[to Rusty after he's been hazed] People can see you! People can see you standing near me!
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
Be realistic, Russ.
RUSTY CARTWRIGHT
Be my sister, Case.
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CAPPIE
[as Keanu Reeves circa "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"] Prometheus: a most historic Greek god dude who journeyed on a most excellent quest to bring fire to mankind only to incur the wrath of the odious Zeus who chained the dude on yonder mountaintop while an eagle egregiously scarfed the dude's liver up for, like, infinity. [beat] Yeah, I full-on read Campbell's book.
CASEY CARTWRIGHT
Since this morning? That's impossible.
CAPPIE
A most bodacious masterpiece with many pages in which I forgoed an afternoon of non-bogus fun.
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
You don't want me to get fat do you?
REBECCA LOGAN
Get?
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CASEY CARTWRIGHT
[to Rebecca] Um, I think I wanted iced coffee.
CAPPIE
Might I recommend a Cappie-cino?