4
LULU ROMAN
Get out of my cornfield!
1
ROY CLARK
I crossed a pussycat with a 500 pound canary.
AUDIENCE
What'd you get?
ROY CLARK
A canary that says [gruff voice] Come here pussycat!
1
BUCK OWENS
You know this life of wine, women and song is starting to bring me down.
ROY CLARK
Me too, I think I'll quit music.
BUCK OWENS
[laughing] I hope your wife don't see this show.
0
LULU ROMAN
Elephants have peanut breath.
0
LULU ROMAN
[her birthday] Another year, another dollar. Where's my present?
GRANDPA JONES
Here it is. I hope you appreciate it. Me and Junior and Clem put all our quarters together.
LULU ROMAN
Just what I wanted, 3 quarters.
0
LULU ROMAN
In India, it's illegal to have an elephant in your bathtub.
0
TEACHER
Which is farther away, England or the moon?
STUDENT
England.
TEACHER
Why England?
STUDENT
Because I can see the moon but I can't see England.
0
TEACHER
Why are you so STUPID?
BUCK OWENS
I rehearse a lot.
0
LULU ROMAN
Say rubber baby buggy bumper five times.
JUNIOR SAMPLES
Rubber baby buggy bumper five times.
0
TEACHER
I noticed you're wearing one green sock and one red sock.
BUCK OWENS
I've got another pair at home just like them.