8
CHIEF DEPUTY ART MULLEN
Well you know what happens now, don't you? We get legions of AUSAs all up in our ass. [Motions towards his door before turning towards his safe] Tim! We're going to do the gun thing.
TIM GUTTERSON
Relinquishing a firearm can be a very emotional moment, and there always must be another deputy in attendance. Add in some premium alcohol, what could possibly go wrong?
RAYLAN GIVENS
[Sliding his gun into the envelope offered by Art] Thank you.
CHIEF DEPUTY ART MULLEN
Uh huh.
TIM GUTTERSON
[They toast and knock back their bourbon] What you gonna get next?
RAYLAN GIVENS
Probably the same thing.
CHIEF DEPUTY ART MULLEN
You should think about an Uzi.
7
KARL HANSELMAN
Next time you're in Cincinnati, come by the gallery. I'll show you my collection. I think you'll be quite surprised.
RAYLAN GIVENS
Honestly, I'd rather stick my d**k in a blender.
CHIEF DEPUTY ART MULLEN
Well, that would solve a few problems.
5
ART MULLEN
Tell me about the shooting.
RAYLAN GIVENS
It was justified.
4
RAYLAN GIVENS
Honestly, I think I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.
CHIEF DEPUTY ART MULLEN
Well that might solve a few problems.
4
BOYD CROWDER
Are you asking me or are you telling me?
RAYLAN GIVENS
Well, if it makes you feel better, you can tell people I asked.
3
RAYLAN GIVENS
You're gonna bob and weave out of the path of a bullet? That I'd like to see.
3
RAYLAN GIVENS
I hope I didn't take you away from anything.
BOYD CROWDER
Well I was this close to bringing a sinner to Jesus and now he is consigned to eternal damnation. I hope that you're happy.
3
ART MULLEN
What's the matter with you, Raylan? Not used to positive attention?
RAYLAN GIVENS
No, I loved that. Can we continue?
TIM GUTTERSON
No, the moment's gone.
2
ART MULLEN
Are you cold standin out here?
RAYLAN GIVENS
Not really, why?
ART MULLEN
Cause I can't keep from starin at yer nipples!
2
RACHEL BROOKS
When I was Nick's age, before my father's cancer, I thought we were the Cosbys. My parents had good jobs, there was a feast on the table after church on Sundays. Shawnee and I would ride our huffys around the neighborhood. We had good hair, and made straight A's. Except, as my mother reminds me, that wasn't reality. The jobs weren't all that good, and my father was never a happy man even before he got sick. And Shawnee was smoking pot at 9 and running away to smoke heroin at 15.
RAYLAN GIVENS
I never bore any illusions that my family was the Cosbys.
CHIEF DEPUTY ART MULLEN
You're family wasn't funny.
TIM GUTTERSON
At least you got to shoot your father. Mine had the nerve to die before I got back from Basic with skills and a loaded weapon.
RAYLAN GIVENS
You didn't miss much. I thought it was gonna be way more fun than it was.