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JULIO FUENTES
Buenos Dias, Mr. Sanford.
FRED SANFORD
And beans and disease to you, too.
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DESK LADY
Oh, you two live together?
FRED SANFORD, LAMONT SANFORD
If you want to call it that.
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DESK LADY
Address?
FRED SANFORD
9114 South Central.
DESK LADY
Oh, that's in Watts?
FRED SANFORD
It sure ain't Beverly Hills.
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LAMONT SANFORD
[Lamont complains that Fred isn't a good businessman] A six-year-old does better business than you!
FRED SANFORD
Well, pretty soon you won't have to deal with me any more, I'll be joinin' your mother, and you can get a six-year-old to replace me, and it won't be Sanford and Son anymore, it'll be Big Dummy and Little Dummy Inc!
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FRED SANFORD
[to Aunt Esther] I warn you, woman, vengeance is among me! And ugly is among you.
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FRED SANFORD
I think this guy was a Nazi, he started saying [speaks fake German] And Nazi's got those salutes, "Hi, Hitler!" [pokes out arm and waves fingers]
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GIRL #1
[Fred has put up Lamont's room for rent while he's in Mexico. A pregnant woman knocks on his door to request the room] Hello!
FRED SANFORD
[looks at her stomach] Hello to both of you.
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LAMONT SANFORD
C'mon pop, we're gonna make a killin' on these.
FRED SANFORD
Well then why don't you make two killin's and get them outta here.
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OFFICER SWANHAUSER
Was the suspect colored?
FRED SANFORD
Yeah, white.
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LAMONT SANFORD
Do you read Ebony magazine?
MAN
No.
LAMONT SANFORD
Why not? I read Life.