1
AUNT ESTHER ANDERSON
I'm tellin' ya, the man is obviously senile! Up there with that woman! Messin' around!
ROLLO LARSON
I don't know, Esther, if you gotta go senile that's the way to go.
0
FRED SANFORD
Take out the trash Rollo.
ROLLO LARSON
Where is it Mr. Sanford?
FRED SANFORD
It's in your shoes!
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LAMONT SANFORD
Did you get the liquor Rollo?
ROLLO LARSON
No, I can't right now.
LAMONT SANFORD
Why not?
ROLLO LARSON
The store's still open!
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LAMONT SANFORD
[Thinking of what to do with the marijuana plants] We gotta think of some way to get rid of that stuff.
ROLLO LARSON
Hey, don't worry, baby! I'll do it.
LAMONT SANFORD
Wait a minute! I know - I'll burn it!
ROLLO LARSON
That's exactly what I had in mind!
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FRED G. SANFORD
[after Lamont tells Fred he should make their guest feel at home] Rollo, feel at home.
ROLLO LARSON
I do.
FRED G. SANFORD
Well, would you do me a favor?
ROLLO LARSON
Certainly.
FRED G. SANFORD
Would you take the garbage out?
ROLLO LARSON
Of course. Where is it?
FRED G. SANFORD
In your shoes.
0
LAMONT SANFORD
[Lamont and Rollo are looking for dates, Rollo flipping through his little black book] Hey, man, what about Dimples and Leigh?
ROLLO LARSON
Dimples and Leigh? The gruesome twosome? You is a fool. We ain't that hard up... Hey, I wonder if I still got their numbers.
LAMONT SANFORD
Look under DT for "desperation time."
ROLLO LARSON
No, here it is, under LR for "last resort."
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ROLLO LARSON
Hey, Pops, how's it goin'?
FRED G. SANFORD
Oh, it's pretty good, Rollo. Crime outside went down 50 percent.
ROLLO LARSON
Why?
FRED G. SANFORD
Because you inside.
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ROLLO LARSON
[to jewelry store clerk] Hey, look here, I'm gonna give it to you straight. We'd like to see the cheapest thing you have in a ring.
SALESPERSON
How about two tickets to the bullfights?
ROLLO LARSON
Hey, man, you tryin' to get smart?
SALESPERSON
Oh, nooo, then you and I would have nothing in common.
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ROLLO LARSON
[after admitting Fred's prank fooled them] Nice goin', Pops.
FRED G. SANFORD
I'm not Pops; I'm lolli-Pops, and you're the four all-day suckers.
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LAMONT SANFORD
[Opens the door for Rollo, who is wearing a snazzy suit] Hey, Rollo! I see you got yourself a few new threads.
ROLLO LARSON
No, baby, this is the whole spool!