1
DEBBIE DOWNER
They never did catch that Anthrax guy... WAH WAHHHH
1
DEBBIE DOWNER
[Regarding Feline AIDS] It's the number one killer of domestic cats.
0
DEBBIE DOWNER
[at Disney World] Hey, you guys... it's official... I can't have children.
0
DEBBIE DOWNER
[meeting Paris Hilton] Hi, it's nice to meet you. I really enjoy your show. Isn't it embarassing to dress like a slut all of the time?
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DEBBIE DOWNER
[Debbie Downer is at Disney World] I love Disney World. It reminds me of my childhood. I mean before my two-year stint at Children's.
0
DEBBIE DOWNER
[Referring to Feline AIDs] It's the number one killer of domestic cats!
0
DEBBIE DOWNER
[Debbie Downer is attending the Oscars] Congratulations, Hillary. You know that on the average, Oscar winners tend to die sooner than other actors and that winning two Oscars increases that chance by 50%.
CHAD LOWE
[incredulously] She was your favorite baby sitter when you were little?
HILARY SWANK
Yeah; I don't know, maybe she was more positive back then.
-2
LINDSAY LOHAN
[during a visit to Disney World] Guys, this is like a dream come true! When I got to the park this morning, Tigger came up and hugged me! I almost cried!
DEBBIE DOWNER
I guess Roy's not doing as well as they thought.
AMY POEHLER
What? Who's Roy?
DEBBIE DOWNER
Roy of Sigfried and Roy. He was attacked by his pet tiger and suffered devastating injuries.
-2
LINDSAY LOHAN
Darn it, Debbie! You are not going to spoil my visit to Disney World! Now, I didn't say anything at "It's a Small World" when you went on about low birth weight in babies or during the fireworks when you started talking about Feline AIDS...
DEBBIE DOWNER
It's still the number one cause of death among domestic cats [frustrated, Lindsay leaves] By the way, don't forget the sunscreen. I had a mole looked at the other day and the doctor said that based on the size and shape of the edges, I am flirting with that melanoma thing. [everyone else at the table gets up to leave]
DEBBIE DOWNER
OK, I guess I'll meet you all later at my favorite ride; The Hall of Presidents. You know they never did catch that anthrax guy.
-2
JIMMY FALLON
[ordering breakfast at Disney World] I love Mickey's Steak and eggs!
DEBBIE DOWNER
Ever since they found mad cow disease in the US, I'm not taking any chances.
JIMMY FALLON
What?
DEBBIE DOWNER
They say it can live in your body for up to three years before it attacks and destroys your brain.