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COSMO KRAMER
[to George, who is wearing women's glasses] May I have one of those, madame?
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COSMO KRAMER
That's a lot of potatoes.
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COSMO KRAMER
Jerry, why would I, a Juliard trained dermatologist, recommend that he go to see someone else?
JERRY SEINFELD
Because you're *not* a dermatologist.
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JERRY SEINFELD
I prefer to do my own material.
COSMO KRAMER
That's as good as anything you do.
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COSMO KRAMER
It's a Festivus miracle.
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JERRY SEINFELD
Boy, you sure do have a lot of friends, how come I never see any of these people?
COSMO KRAMER
They want to know how come they never see you.
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JERRY SEINFELD
I'm not wearing the fur coat.
COSMO KRAMER
Come on, Jerry. If you don't do it, Newman and I are out of the building.
JERRY SEINFELD
Hmm...
COSMO KRAMER
Ok, Jerry, just take a good look at what your life would be like without me around.
JERRY SEINFELD
[thinks for a few seconds] Newman too?
COSMO KRAMER
Come on.
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JERRY SEINFELD
Why did you have to open your big mouth?
COSMO KRAMER
What?
JERRY SEINFELD
George doesn't need to hear that his girlfriend looks like me. Neither do I, for that matter. First the Sally Weaver thing, now this.
COSMO KRAMER
You're just mad because you're having a bad day.
JERRY SEINFELD
Yes. Because of you.
COSMO KRAMER
Well, in that case I think one of us should leave. [Kramer and Jerry stare at each other and don't move]
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COSMO KRAMER
Hey, boys. Here you go. It's celebration time.
GEORGE COSTANZA
Why?
COSMO KRAMER
You remember that coffee table book I wrote?
JERRY SEINFELD
Yeah.
COSMO KRAMER
Well, the company sold the movie rights to it.
GEORGE COSTANZA
How are they going to make that book into a movie?
COSMO KRAMER
You remember that toy ray gun book? "Independence Day".
JERRY SEINFELD
Oh. So, how much are they paying you?
COSMO KRAMER
Well, let's just say that I won't have to work for a long, LONG time.
JERRY SEINFELD
That's funny. Because I haven't seen you work in a long, LONG time.
COSMO KRAMER
I'm officially retired.
JERRY SEINFELD
From what?
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JERRY SEINFELD
What's this? You said you were watching a video.
COSMO KRAMER
Yeah, an instructional video on how to make your own sausage.