4
GABRIEL
Lucifer... you are my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.
LUCIFER
What did you say to me?
GABRIEL
Look at yourself... Boo hoo, Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys.
LUCIFER
Watch your tone.
GABRIEL
Play the victim all you want, but you and me, we know the truth. Dad loved you best, more than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So all of this is just a great big temper tantrum. Time to grow up.
LUCIFER
Gabriel, if you're doing this for Michael...
GABRIEL
Screw him. If he were standing here, I'd shiv his ass, too.
2
LUCIFER
Castiel. I don't understand why you're fighting *me*, of all the angels.
CASTIEL
You really have to ask?
LUCIFER
I rebelled, I was cast out, you rebelled, you were cast out. Almost all of Heaven wants to see me dead and if they succeed guess what? You're their new public enemy number one. We're on the same side, like it or not, so, why not just serve your own best interests which in this case just happen to be mine.
CASTIEL
I'll die first.
LUCIFER
I suppose you will.
1
SAM WINCHESTER
What do you want with me?
LUCIFER
Thanks to you, I walk the earth. I wanna give you a gift. I wanna give you everything.
SAM WINCHESTER
I don't want anything from you!
0
LUCIFER
Oh hellooooo Death.
0
LUCIFER
Don't feel too bad, Sam. There's only five things in all of creation that that gun can't kill and, I just happen to be one of them. But if you gimme a minute? I'm almost done. [goes back to digging, Sam checks on Dean] You know, I don't suppose you'd just say yes right here and now, end this whole tiresome discussion? That's crazy, right?
SAM WINCHESTER
[fiercely] It's NEVER gonna happen!
LUCIFER
Oh I don't know Sam. I think it will. I think it'll happen soon. Within six months. And I think it'll happen... in Detroit.
SAM WINCHESTER
You listen to me, you sonofabitch. I'm gonna kill you myself! You understand me? I'm going to rip your *heart* out!
LUCIFER
That's good, Sam. You keep fanning that fire in your belly. All that pent-up rage? I'm gonna need it.
SAM WINCHESTER
[looking at the men standing around] What did you do? What did you do to this town?
LUCIFER
Oh, I was very generous with this town. One demon for every able-bodied man.
SAM WINCHESTER
And the rest of them?
LUCIFER
[gesturing at the pit he's been filling in] In there. I know it's awful but, these Horsemen are so demanding. So it was women and children first. I know what you must think of me Sam. But I have to do this. I have to. You of all people should understand.
SAM WINCHESTER
What's that supposed to mean?
LUCIFER
I was a son. A brother, like you, a younger brother, and I had an older brother who I loved. Idolized, in fact. And one day I went to him, and I begged him to stand with me. And Michael... Michael turned on me. Called me a freak, a monster. And then he beat me down, all because I was different. Because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something Sam, any of this sound familiar? Anyway, you'll have to excuse me, midnight is calling, and I have a ritual to finish. Don't go anywhere. Not that you could if you would. [turns away, chants, then turns to the sacrifices as Dean wakes up] Now repeat after me. "We offer up our lives, blood, souls..."
POSSESSED TOWNSFOLK
We offer up our lives, blood, souls...
LUCIFER
"... to complete this tribute."
POSSESSED TOWNSFOLK
To complete this tribute. [one by one their heads light up and they fall, Sam and Dean stare in horror]
LUCIFER
What? They're just demons.
0
LUCIFER
A wrestling match inside your noggin. I like the idea. Just you and me, one round, no tricks. You win, you jump in the hole. I win... well, then I win. What do you say, Sam? A fiddle of gold against your soul says I'm better than you.
0
LUCIFER
Castiel, right? Castiel, I'm told you came here in an automobile.
CASTIEL
... yes.
LUCIFER
What was that like?
CASTIEL
Um, slow. Confining.
LUCIFER
What a peculiar thing you are?
CASTIEL
[notices lesions on Lucifer's face] What's wrong with your vessel?
LUCIFER
Yes, um, Nick is wearing a bit thin, I'm afraid. He can't contain me forever, so...
CASTIEL
[angry] You... [Steps forward, but remembers the holy fire] You are not taking Sam Winchester. I won't let you.
0
LUCIFER
We're on the same side, like it or not, so... why not just serve your own best interests, which in this case, just happen to be mine.
CASTIEL
I'll die first.
LUCIFER
... I suppose you will.
0
DEAN WINCHESTER
How are you feeling?
SAM WINCHESTER
Maybe you should cancel my U.F.C. fight.
LUCIFER
Yeah. Keep that sense of humor, Sam. It'll get you through this.
0
SAM WINCHESTER
Dean, we knew this was coming.
DEAN WINCHESTER
No. No.
SAM WINCHESTER
When you put my soul back, Cass warned you about all the crap...
DEAN WINCHESTER
Screw Cass! Quit being Dalai frickin' Yoda about this, okay? Get pissed!
SAM WINCHESTER
I'm too tired. This is what happens when you throw a soul into Lucifer's dog bowl. When you just think there's gonna be some cure up there?
LUCIFER
Oh, you guys are having a moment.