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AMY FARRAH FOWLER
[after Sheldon coughs] Are you getting sick?
SHELDON COOPER
No. I'm just allergic to people that get Nobel Prizes for no good reason.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Sheldon, is it possible that your foul mood, or to use the clinical term: bitchinous, is because your mother isn't making you a priority?
SHELDON COOPER
No. Or to use the clinical term: Na-ah.
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PENNY
So, um, Amy, Sheldon tells me you're a Neuro... something or other?
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Neurobiologist. Your "check engine" light is on.
PENNY
Yeah, it's OK.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
But the light indicates...
SHELDON COOPER
Don't, bother, I've wasted many an hour tilting at that particular windmill.
PENNY
Uh, what is that scent you're wearing? It smells great.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Dandruff Shampoo. I have dry scalp.
PENNY
Ah, well your hair looks very nice.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Are you a homosexual?
PENNY
No, No, I'm just, giving you a compliment.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Hm. Would have been more flattered if you were a homosexual.
PENNY
Guys, how about some music?
SHELDON COOPER
Oh, I wouldn't care for that, Amy?
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
No, thank you.
PENNY
OK. Uncomfortable silence it is. Hey, Sheldon, have you told Amy what it was like for you growing up in Texas?
SHELDON COOPER
No.
PENNY
Well, why don't you tell her?
SHELDON COOPER
Alright. It was hell.
PENNY
Any follow up Amy?
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
No.
PENNY
I, myself, grew up in Nebraska. Small town, outside of Omaha. Yeah, a nice place, mostly family farms, a few meth labs.
SHELDON COOPER
I'm sorry, how is this better than uncomfortable silence?
PENNY
I don't know, I was just trying something.
SHELDON COOPER
Muggles.
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SHELDON COOPER
I must say, Amy, I was very impressed to see that Bernadette got her Ph.D.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
It's indeed admirable. Although it is microbiology.
SHELDON COOPER
Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
I'll make it simple for you. I study the brain, the organ responsible for Beethoven's "Fifth Symphony." Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light.
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AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Before I met you, I was a mousy wallflower. But look at me now. I'm like some kind of downtown hipster party girl! With a posse, a boyfriend, and a new lace bra that hooks in the front of all things!
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AMY FARRAH FOWLER
I don't understand. What difference does it make if Leonard goes to Wil Wheaton's party?
PENNY
Well. Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Mortal enemy?
PENNY
Mhm.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Sheldon, I knew you were a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench, but you really have a mortal enemy?
SHELDON COOPER
In fact, I have 61 of them. Would you like to see the list?
PENNY
Oh, say no, say no, say no.
SHELDON COOPER
You just got off the list, would you like back on it?
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BERNADETTE ROSTENKOWSKI
I had no choice! I had to tell his mother! He can't go to space! He's like a baby bird! Did you know he once got an asthma attack from reading an old library?
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
You're kidding.
PENNY
No, I was there that day. Sheldon threw his back out handing him that book.
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PENNY
So are we celebrating anything special tonight?
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Oh yes! Our relationship agreement specifies that the second Thursday of every month, or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays, is date night.
PENNY
That is so hot.
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PENNY
You heard what I did?
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Well, I heard who you did.
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AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Yo, P-Dawg.
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PENNY
So, where do you guys want to go dancing?
BERNADETTE ROSTENKOWSKI
We were hoping you'd know a place.
AMY FARRAH FOWLER
Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly with young beautiful bodies, sweating and writhing against each other in a glorious orgy of the flesh.
PENNY
Oh yeah, I know that place.