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HOWARD WOLOWITZ
[sitting in the bar] I'm not sitting here with a guy drinking a grasshopper with a little umbrella.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Fine. I'll have a Chocolate martini.
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Wrong, again.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Come on, you know I can't talk to women unless I'm lit up like the Hindu festival of Dwali.
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Look, there are plenty of bars in LA where you can order grasshopper and chocolate martinis but you wouldn't have to because there are no women in them.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Gotcha. I'll have a Brandy Alexander.
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RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Barkeep, Alexander me.
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HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Smart is the new sexy.
LEONARD HOFSTADTER
Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Maybe we're too smart... so smart it's off-putting.
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Yeah, let's go with that.
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SHELDON COOPER
This is an auspicious moment. Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong , we need the appropiate words to mark this scientific landmark event.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
How about "Die, toaster, die!"?
LEONARD HOFSTADTER
That'll do it.
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SHELDON COOPER
Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
As with my father, I both respect and fear him.
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SHELDON COOPER
Your robot is inferior, and it will be defeated by ours, because ours excedes yours in both design and execution. Also, I am given to understand that your mother is overweight.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Oh, snap.
SHELDON COOPER
Now of course, if that is a result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony I withdraw my comment.
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RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Are you joking? Star Trek V is the standard against which all badness is measured!
SHELDON COOPER
Star Trek V has specific problems in writing and direction. Star Trek I has mistakes across the board: writing, art direction, costumes, editing.
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HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Just imagine, if he accepts the offer, we could have an entire summer without Sheldon.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
We could play outside.
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
We could sit on the left side of the couch.
LEONARD HOFSTADTER
I could use the bathroom at 8:20.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
Our dreams are small, aren't they?
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RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
I'm a Hindu. My religion says that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next. Three months in the North Pole with Sheldon, and I'm reincarnated as a well-hung millionaire with wings.
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LEONARD HOFSTADTER
They'll never let you in, you know.
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
That's what they said about Neil Armstrong.
SHELDON COOPER
You can't compare yourself to Neil Armstrong. He had the support of millions, and they devoted a lot of time and effort to put him on the moon.
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Well, by the time this year is over, we will put an America's Top Model on Howard Wolowitz.
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
And a lot of people will believe it never happened.