18
ERNEST T. BASS
If a duck stood still you could catch him by the bill.
8
ERNEST T. BASS
Right or wrong I'm here to fight. Unless you run away with fright. And if you wonder who I be, it's me it's me, it's Ernest T. Whoo hoo.
2
RAMONA 'ROMEENA' ANKRUM
It rained last week, ya know?
ERNEST T. BASS
Yeah... yeah... I was right there in it.
1
ERNEST T. BASS
[yelling at Malcom Merriweather] I'm warning you! Now today is Thursday. If you're still here on... what's the day after Thursday?
FLOYD LAWSON
Uh Friday.
ERNEST T. BASS
Right. If you're still here on Friday, which is the day after Thursday, I'll WHOOP the fire outta you.
0
BARNEY FIFE
What was that!
ANDY TAYLOR
I think Ernest T. Bass is paying us another visit.
BRISCOE DARLING
Ernest T. Bass! You're a low down skunk! [Turns away from the window, then turns back] Doggone ya!
ANDY TAYLOR
Listen here, Ernest T. Bass! This is Sheriff Taylor! Go on home and leave these people alone! You're keepin' 'em awake!
ERNEST T. BASS
Tell 'em to go back to bed! Charlene's the one I want to talk to!
BARNEY FIFE
Listen here, Ernest T. Bass! This is Deputy Fife! I'm armed and if you don't go home, I might just take a shot at you [another rock come flying through the window]
BARNEY FIFE
Stop that! [Another rock hits the window]
BRISCOE DARLING
Sheriff, tell your deputy to be quiet before he gets us all stoned to death!
0
ERNEST T. BASS
I don't chew my cabbage twice. And you ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!
-2
SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR
Now I'm warning you, if you throw one more rock...
ERNEST T. BASS
I promise you Sheriff, I won't throw one more rock. [Sheriff Taylor walks away] . Didn't say nothin' 'bout no brick!
-4
ERNEST T. BASS
I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. Say you'll be mine. Say you'll be my beloved!