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ERNEST T. BASS
[yelling at Malcom Merriweather] I'm warning you! Now today is Thursday. If you're still here on... what's the day after Thursday? |
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FLOYD LAWSON
Uh Friday. |
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ERNEST T. BASS
Right. If you're still here on Friday, which is the day after Thursday, I'll WHOOP the fire outta you. |
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SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR
You could put a sign in the window saying 'Two Chairs - No Waiting.' |
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FLOYD LAWSON
Two chairs... and I've got the magazines to swing it! |
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ANDY TAYLOR
Floyd. |
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FLOYD LAWSON
What's the matter? |
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ANDY TAYLOR
My sideburns. |
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FLOYD LAWSON
Your sideburns - what's the matter with your sideburns? |
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ANDY TAYLOR
Why, they're both even. |
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FLOYD LAWSON
Well, I'll be dogged. How'd that happen? |
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ANDY TAYLOR
I declare, Floyd, I believe you're getting the hang of it. And looka there - they're the right length and everything. |
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GOOBER PYLE
Floyd made the diagnosis. |
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ANDY TAYLOR
Floyd, what do you know about whiplash? |
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FLOYD LAWSON
What do you mean? A barber does a lot of work around the back of the neck. |
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FLOYD LAWSON
You know, everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it. Calvin Coolidge said that. |
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ANDY TAYLOR
No, Floyd, that wasn't Calvin Coolidge that said that, it was Mark Twain. |
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FLOYD LAWSON
Then what did Calvin Coolidge say? |