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COUSIN PEARL BODINE
Jethro, tell your Uncle Jed why there ain't no snow in California.
JETHRO BODINE
Don't look at me, I didn't take it!
-2
JETHRINE BODINE
[Granny and Cousin Pearl disagreeing over who is going to cook in the kitchen] Hey, Uncle Jed. Come on back. There's gonna be a fight.
COUSIN PEARL BODINE
Oh, I don't fight nobody twice my age.
DAISY MOSES
There ain't nobody twice your age!
COUSIN PEARL BODINE
I happen to be on the sunny side of 45. [slaps table]
DAISY MOSES
Well, then move over into the shade. You're drying up something awful.
-2
JED CLAMPETT
What do you think Pearl? You think I oughta move?
COUSIN PEARL BODINE
Jed, how can you even ask? Look around you. You live eight miles from your nearest neighbor. You're overrun with skunks, possums, coyotes, and bobcats. You use kerosene lamps for light. You cook on a wood stove, summer and winter. You're drinkin' homemade moonshine, and washin' with homemade lye soap. And your bathroom is fifty feet from the house. And you ask should you move!?
JED CLAMPETT
[ponders all this] Yeah, I reckon you're right. Man'd be a dang fool to leave all this.