5
LEONARD HOFSTADTER
Barry, we can't fight you tomorrow. Our engineer is incapacitated.
BARRY KRIPKE
What's wwong with him?
RAJ KOOTHRAPPALI
He's depressed, because he's pathetic and creepy and can't get girls.
BARRY KRIPKE
We'we aww pathetic and cweepy and can't get giwws. That's why we fight wobots. If you'we not thewe, you'ww be exposed to widicule.
RAJ KOOTHRAPPALI
[addressing Barry's rhotacism] I'm curious, what part of America is that accent from?
0
BARRY KRIPKE
You got SIRI, huh? Voice wecognition on that thing is terrible. Wook. [Talking into iPhone] Siwi, can you wecommend a westauwant?
SIRI
I'm sorry, Bawwy. I don't understand "wecommend a westauwant."
BARRY KRIPKE
Wisten to me. Not "westauwant," *westauwant*.
SIRI
I don't know what you mean by "not westauwant, westauwant."
BARRY KRIPKE
See? Total cwap.
0
SHELDON COOPER
That's where I sit.
BARRY KRIPKE
Ooh, you have a special spot. What kind of wacko are you?
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
How much time you got?
0
SHELDON COOPER
[in the toilet at work] Kripke.
BARRY KRIPKE
Yes.
SHELDON COOPER
You're in my spot.
0
BARRY KRIPKE
How does it work?
SHELDON COOPER
Oh, it's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
BARRY KRIPKE
I'm sorry, can you repeat that?
SHELDON COOPER
Oh, of course. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaperizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
BARRY KRIPKE
Almost got it. One more time?
SHELDON COOPER
Sure! Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock...
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Hey, Sheldon!
SHELDON COOPER
...rock crushes...
HOWARD WOLOWITZ
Stop. He's screwing with you.
SHELDON COOPER
Is he? Well, then, seems we have reached an impasse. I see no other option than to challenge you to a duel. I'd smack you with a glove, but just last week, I packed away my winter things.
-1
BARRY KRIPKE
You're not afwaid of heights, are you?
SHELDON COOPER
Fear of heights is irrational. Fear of falling, however, is prudent and evolutionary.
-2
SHELDON COOPER
Kripke, what would you say to you and me being friends?
BARRY KRIPKE
I would say, I have no intewest in being your fwiend.
SHELDON COOPER
I don't see why you wouldn't want to make friends, seeing as everyone finds you unpleasant. Why don't you think it over?
BARRY KRIPKE
Yeah, I'll think about it.
SHELDON COOPER
I think we're off to a good start.
-3
LEONARD HOFSTADTER
Barry, we can't fight you tomorrow. Our engineer is incapacitated.
BARRY KRIPKE
What's wrong with him?
RAJESH KOOTHRAPPALI
He's depressed because he's pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls.
BARRY KRIPKE
We're ALL pathetic and cweepy, and can't get girws. That's why we fight wobots.