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CAROL BRADY
[after Alice destroys the bust of Mike's head because the kids scared her] Like I said, fun is fun, but if you're not careful, someone can get hurt.
BOBBY BRADY
We never thought it would be dad's head.
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CINDY BRADY
Hi, anybody seen Jan?
CAROL BRADY
She went to the library, honey, why?
CINDY BRADY
Oh, I just thought I'd let her beat me at checkers.
MIKE BRADY
Why you want to do that?
CINDY BRADY
To give her confidence. To make her think she's good at something. That's what we've been doing.
CAROL BRADY
How long are you and your brothers and sisters plan to keep losing to Jan?
CINDY BRADY
I don't know. A couple months. I'll ask Greg.
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CAROL BRADY
[she and Mike hop out of bed] Well here we go, round two of the battle of the ghost!
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CAROL BRADY
[to Cindy] You shouldn't put down a loser, Cindy, because you might be one yourself someday. Just remember that.
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CAROL BRADY
I knew something like this was going to happen, Bobby!
GREG BRADY
Well, why didn't you tell ME?
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CAROL BRADY
[on the phone] Im sorry Mike. Cindy thought there are real butterflies in my stomach.
MIKE BRADY
You’re lucky if you only get butterflies. I’ve got six flying saucers in mine. And you're right.
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ALICE NELSON
You're guaranteed to be cured in 24 hours.
CAROL BRADY
24 hours!!?
ALICE NELSON
Unless you break out in a rash. Then you take it off.
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ALICE NELSON
You got everything here?
CAROL BRADY
Well, I think so. [to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas] There are 6 luncheon trays, 5 comic books, 4 jigsaw puzzles, 3 magic tricks, 2 ice cream bars,...
CAROL AND MIKE
And one cow bell!
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PETER BRADY
Cindy stuck her tongue out of me.
CAROL BRADY
She's just a little girl.
PETER BRADY
She has an awfully big tongue.
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CAROL BRADY
[stressed, hair undone, in the middle of using make up] How could you girls sit there and say I look beautiful?
CINDY BRADY
Because we love you.