1
MARCIA BRADY
[Marcia lost her Diary and is accusing one of the boys of taking it] Okay, if you hand it right over, I won't press charges
GREG BRADY
What are you talking about?
MARCIA BRADY
As if you didn't know.
PETER BRADY
Bobby, do you know what she's talking about?
BOBBY BRADY
No. Greg, do you know what she's talking about?
GREG BRADY
No. Marcia, do you know what you're talking about?
MARCIA BRADY
I certainly do, someone in this room took my diary.
GREG BRADY
Your diary, you mean you actually keep one of those stupid things?
BOBBY BRADY
What's a diary?
PETER BRADY
It's a book, that you write things, that you don't want anyone else to know.
BOBBY BRADY
Why?
GREG BRADY
So, you could write stuff like [Greg then sits at his desk imitating Marcia writing in her diary] "Dear diary, at last I met him, my dream man, it was at the delicatessen and our fingers tingled as we reached over for the same potato salad." [the boys laugh]
MARCIA BRADY
[shouts]I have never written any ridiculous thing like that in my diary!
PETER BRADY
You didn't?
MARCIA BRADY
[shouts] I should say not!
GREG BRADY
Then, why are you afraid that somebody might read it?
MARCIA BRADY
None of your business.
1
JASON
Sorry, I can't make it. I have my piano lessons.
PETER BRADY
I didn't know you knew how to play the piano.
JASON
I don't. That's why I gotta take lessons.
1
PETER BRADY
[to Mike] I once saw a movie where a man was getting married. He was so nervous he forgot to put his pants on.
BOBBY BRADY
[looks under the table] You’re OK, dad.
0
MIKE BRADY
Well then?
GREG BRADY
We're sick of doing all these things.
PETER BRADY
Do this, do that, they're a real pain.
BOBBY BRADY
Yeah, they're too bossy.
0
PETER BRADY
When are you going to grow up?
BOBBY BRADY
When I get older.
0
GREG BRADY
Now, don't let the girls catch you hiding these.
BOBBY BRADY
If they catch me, should I eat the present?
PETER BRADY
Eat it! [to Greg] He's been watching too many of those spy programs.
0
GREG BRADY
How would you like to get Kerry back? Now listen, I-
PETER BRADY
I don't trust you, you stole my girl!
GREG BRADY
I did not steal your girl.
PETER BRADY
You did.
BOBBY BRADY
If you guys are starting that again, I'm getting out of here.
0
PETER BRADY
[to Carol, about Mike] This morning he put 21 spoons sugar into the coffee
MIKE BRADY
You’re exaggerating.
BOBBY BRADY
But he didn’t forget his pants.
0
PETER (TO MARCIA)
I got it! Take this down. 'To Davy Jones. Dear Sir, you have just won a 10 million dollar sweepstakes. For information, contact Marcia Brady at...'
GREG BRADY
What's that got to do with singing at the prom?
PETER BRADY
Nothing, but it would sure get his attention.
0
PETER BRADY
Pork chops, and applesauce.