5
MR. LOGAN
I'm not the Doctor, I'm your English teacher!
LAUREN COOPER
I don't think you are, though!
MR. LOGAN
Lauren...
LAUREN COOPER
I think you're a nine hundred an' forty-five year old Time Lord!
MR. LOGAN
Listen...
LAUREN COOPER
Did ya just pitch up from Mars?
MR. LOGAN
Don't be ridiculous.
LAUREN COOPER
You know your house, right?
MR. LOGAN
What?
LAUREN COOPER
You know your house?
MR. LOGAN
Yeah?
LAUREN COOPER
Is it bigger on the inside?
MR. LOGAN
Be quiet!
LAUREN COOPER
Did you park the TARDIS on the meter?
1
LAUREN COOPER
I don't think that you're quite qualified to teach us English.
MR. LOGAN
I am perfectly qualified to teach you English.
LAUREN COOPER
I don't think you are, though.
MR. LOGAN
You don't have to be English to teach it.
LAUREN COOPER
Right... have we got double English... or double Scottish?
0
LAUREN COOPER
Can I ask you a question?
MR. LOGAN
Not just now.
LAUREN COOPER
Can I ask you a question now?
MR. LOGAN
Just wait.
LAUREN COOPER
Can I ask you a question? I only want to ask you a question. Can't I ask you a question? I'm just asking you a question. Can I ASK you a QUESTION?
MR. LOGAN
What is it?
LAUREN COOPER
Are you the Doctor?
MR. LOGAN
...Doctor Who?
0
LAUREN COOPER
Are you English, sir?
MR. LOGAN
No, I'm Scottish.
LAUREN COOPER
So you ain't English, then?
MR. LOGAN
No, I'm British.
MR. LOGAN
No, I'm not. But as you can see, I do speak English.
LAUREN COOPER
But I can't understand what you're saying, sir.
MR. LOGAN
Well, clearly you can.
LAUREN COOPER
Sorry, are you talking Scottish now?
MR. LOGAN
No, I'm talking English.
LAUREN COOPER
Right, don't sound like it.
-4
LAUREN COOPER
Do you fancy Billie Piper, sir?
MR. LOGAN
Right!
MR. LOGAN
You are the most insolent child I have ever had the misfortune to teach!
LAUREN COOPER
Thank you.
MR. LOGAN
You're pointless, repetitious, and extremely dull!
LAUREN COOPER
Bit like Shakespeare.
MR. LOGAN
You are not even worthy to mention his name! William Shakes - William Shakespeare was a genius! You, little madam, are definitely not! Now just sit there, keep your mouth shut, or I will fail you in this whole module right now!
LAUREN COOPER
[tsks] Amest I bovveréd?