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HOSPITAL CHAIRMAN
Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee has received a few complaints against you. Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are performing major operations with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant.
DR. NICK
But I cleaned them with my napkin.
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DR. NICK
Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
BART SIMPSON
You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
DR. NICK
Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
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DR. NICK
'Inflammable' means flammable? What a country.
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DR. NICK
You've tried the best. Now try the rest.
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DR. NICK
[singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.
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DR. NICK
Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want.
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MR. MCGREG
Dr. Nick Riviera. Remember me?
DR. NICK
Why, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.