from The Wire
2
HERC
[cuing up the theme from "Shaft"] Carv. He's a complicated man, and the only one that understands him is his woman.
CARVER
Seek therapy.
1
HERC
What the fuck was that?
CARVER
That was my Korean counterman.
HERC
Sounded Chinese.
CARVER
Like you can fucking tell the difference.
1
HERC
It's like one of those nature shows. You mess with the environment, some species get fucked out of their habitat.
CARVER
Did you just use the word 'habitat' in a sentence?
HERC
I did.
0
HERC
How about you come on the raids tomorrow? Take a few doors for ol' time sake.
KIMA
You takin' doors?
HERC
Yeah. Two houses an' a bar on Kane Street. C'mon Kima, mount up wit' us. I know you miss it.
KIMA
I'm done rollin' around the gutter. I am inside now.
HERC
Oh, you're a house cat now, huh?
KIMA
I made a promise.
HERC
I gotta say Kima, if you were a guy, and actually in some ways you're better than most of the guys I know. But if you were a guy, friends would buy you a beer and let you know.
KIMA
Let me know what?
HERC
You're fuckin' whipped.
KIMA
Whipped?
HERC
Pussy whipped within an inch of your life. I kid you not.
0
CARVER
Hey, don't waste film.
HERC
We've been here so fucking long that you're startin' to look good to me.
0
CARVER
What's that?
HERC
A gift from your one true partner. Cellphone number, Marlo Stanfield.
CARVER
How the fuck did you--
HERC
Don't ask, don't tell. It's like one those guys sucking dick in the army. Whatever else I did to piss you off, remember I also did this... And, Carv? When you put the bracelets on that bitch, remind him again of my fuckin' camera.
0
CARVER
Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.
HERC
Why not?
CARVER
Wars end.
0
HERC
Lacrosse?
BUNK MORELAND
What, a brother can't run with a stick? Jim Brown was an All-American midfielder at Syracuse.
LESTER
You putting yourself beside Jim Brown?
BUNK MORELAND
Lester, um, I'm, I'm just saying...
DANIELS
I thought you were born in pinstripes!
BUNK MORELAND
Lieutenant, I was under the impression that, uh, when detailed against his will to some backwards-ass, no-count, out-in-the-district, lost ball/tall-grass drug investigation, a veteran police of means and talent can wear whatever the fuck he damn well pleases.
0
HERC
Anybody I want?
CARVER
Anybody.
HERC
I want more than one. I want the Olsen Twins.
CARVER
You got 'em. Slaves. All they live for is to get you off. But so now who are you gonna do for 'em? One guy, one act, one time.
HERC
Right, and the minute I name a guy, you're gonna be like, "I knew you're a cocksucker from the first time I laid eyes on you. Steve McQueen? Huh, that's your fantasy? You fucking closet case motherfucker."
CARVER
Steve McQueen?
HERC
Fuck you. It's a setup.
CARVER
Both Olson twins. Ashley. Kate...
HERC
Mary-Kate. And yeah, I admire her body of work.
CARVER
They're yours. All you gotta do is name a guy.
HERC
I'm not catching, I'm pitching.
CARVER
No problem.
0
KIMA
Fighting the war on drugs... one brutality case at a time.
CARVER
Girl, you can't even think of calling this shit a war.
HERC
Why not?
CARVER
Wars end.