91
CAT VALENTINE
Totally.
MR. SIKOWITZ
Ehh, Cat your line had to start with an S.
CAT VALENTINE
Salami!
MR. SIKOWITZ
It's too late Cat.
CAT VALENTINE
Aww, my life's the worst.
MR. SIKOWITZ
Here's a piece of candy.
CAT VALENTINE
Yay! I love candy!
18
JADE WEST
[acting in the movie] 'Monica. Monica. Do not die on me. Wake up. I mean it. Wake up. Come on.' [she slaps Cat across the face]
CAT VALENTINE
Unh. Ow!
TORI VEGA
Cut!
JADE WEST
What?
TORI VEGA
You're not supposed to hit her.
JADE WEST
I felt that's what my character would do.
CAT VALENTINE
My face hurts.
TORI VEGA
Can we try it again without the physical assault?
11
CAT VALENTINE
I don't see why we can't just pretend to be pirates.
ROBBIE SHAPIRO
I'll play pirates with you.
CAT VALENTINE
No. I don't like the way *you* play pirates.
9
MR. SIKOWITZ
Ready? Drive-by acting exercise: You're all angry Englishman. Go!
ROBBIE SHAPIRO
I insist you tell me who sat on me crumpit!
JADE WEST
My grandmummy went to the loo while I snogged the Prime Minister!
ANDRE HARRIS
This flock of Whip-poor-wills is bothering my trousers!
CAT VALENTINE
Good heavens! There's a dead cockroach in my brassiere!
REX
Blimey!
BECK OLIVER
I told you not to put plump sauce on me banger!
7
CAT VALENTINE
Can you please tell her not to slap me?
DALE SQUIRES
She should do whatever feels right.
JADE WEST
[to Cat] Lie down.
TORI VEGA
[while Jade is slapping Cat] Um. Jade. Um. I'll go get some ice.
5
ANDRE HARRIS
Normal's boring
CAT VALENTINE
It's true.
TORI VEGA
That normal's boring?
CAT VALENTINE
No, that no one asked me to the prom.
4
CAT VALENTINE
[a girl is flirting with Beck] Um, Hi. Miss.
HALEY FERGUSON
What?
JADE WEST
He has a girlfriend.
HALEY FERGUSON
I don't see her.
JADE WEST
Turn around. [she does] Now you see her.
4
HALEY FERGUSON
[Two girls flirt with Beck and Andre] First time here?
BECK OLIVER
Umm, yeah.
HALEY FERGUSON
If you get nervous, I'll hold your hand.
CAT VALENTINE
I get nervous when my brother eats things that aren't food. Seriously, I think he ate my charm bracelet.
3
CAT VALENTINE
One time, I ate a hamburger and then like an hour later I started sneezing, but I don't think it had anything to do with the hamburger.
JADE WEST
Maybe, your red hair dye seeps through your scalp and into your brain.
CAT VALENTINE
Can that happen?
3
TORI'S MOM
Where's Trina?
CAT VALENTINE
Tori locked her in the bathroom.
TORI VEGA
Cat! You weren't supposed to tell her that.
TORI'S MOM
I'm okay with it.