1
ROGER SMITH
I'm crying like Francine when she watches Grey's Anatomy.
FRANCINE SMITH
I just feel so sorry for those poor actors.
0
KLAUS
(From the living room) Guys! Get in here! The porn channel's coming in for some reason!
FRANCINE SMITH
(while watching the porn) Nice.
FRANCINE SMITH
Is everyone okay?
KLAUS (WOOZILY)
Did we lose the porn?
-1
STAN SMITH
I was passed over for the Chavez assassination... again!
-1
ROGER SMITH
You're gonna to roast each other. And your zingers better be mean. If you try any weak sauce, I'm gonna give you such a zots. [With a remote, he buzzes Stan] Now, Stan, roast Hayley. [Zots!] You feel that zots?!
STAN SMITH
Uh, Hayley, you're not very smart and you smoke a lot of pot.
ROGER SMITH
[another buzz] Zots!
STAN SMITH
Uh, okay. Hayley, I secretly wish you were Benjamin Button, and you were aging backwards, and your life was almost over.
ROGER SMITH
[laughing with Klaus] Oh, yeah! Insults in the form of jokes. So how's it feel, Hayley? Not too bueno, I bet. Now you do Steve.
HAYLEY SMITH
Steve, you will never get laid. There is nothing attractive about you. You have the sex appeal of the cancer ward in a pediatric hospital.
KLAUS
[laughing] Oh!
ROGER SMITH
Hayley coming in with a groaner. Nice. Okay, Steve, let's see you give it to your mama.
STEVE SMITH
Mom, you are not smart. I don't tell "yo mama's so dumb" jokes. I tell "my mama's so dumb" jokes. Example: my mama's so dumb, I don't tell "yo mama's so dumb" jokes. I tell "my mama's so dumb" jokes.
ROGER SMITH
I love it. Francine, take the pain and throw it right at Stan. Do it!
FRANCINE SMITH
Stan, you have the undeserved ego of Jeremy Piven, the annoying self-righteousness of Sean Penn, and the unbearable hypocrisy of Rush Limbaugh. What I'm trying to say is, you're almost as bad a person as Rachael Ray.