ANDRE I met this doctor, Dr. Maxwell. Real class act.

PETE Is he...black?

ANDRE How'd you know?

PETE Nine times out of ten, when a sportscaster is referring to someone as a "class act", they're talking about a head coach who's black. "Tony Dungy, what a class act."

KEVIN "Total. Lovie Smith—class act."

ANDRE I never noticed that. I mean, it happens all the time?

KEVIN It's not just football. Sportscasters use these code words in all sports. If they're talking about a Latino player in baseball, like, "Ozzie Guillen is a..."

RUXIN Firecracker. Latin guys are always firecrackers.

KEVIN "...firecracker."

PETE Spark plug.

KEVIN Spark plug in the clubhouse.

RUXIN Wes Welker is like a gym rat, a real scrappy player.

KEVIN Which is code word for "white."

RUXIN Always a white guy.

KEVIN Ichiro Suzuki is...

TACO Inscrutable.

PETE [on Kevin's shelves full of For Dummies books] That's a lot of books.

RUXIN I thought these were all Yellow Pages.

KEVIN Why would I keep Yellow Pages?

RUXIN Why would you keep a stack of "How I'm a Dummy" books everywhere?

KEVIN Because this is my own personal research library.

PETE [perusing the books] Stretching for Dummies.

RUXIN Holiday Entertaining for Dummies.

KEVIN Those things are high-pressure situations.

PETE Cryptography for Dummies. Three seconds—what is cryptography?

KEVIN You know what, that came in a set.

RUXIN Oh, Kevin. Law for Dummies?

KEVIN I should've hid that one.

RUXIN You're a lawyer, Kevin.

KEVIN It's full of common sense legal advice.

PETE Jesus! Mexico's Beach Resorts for Dummies. How hard is it to hang out in a beach in Mexico?

RUXIN Is there a How to Hide Your Glaring Lack of Knowledge From Your Friends for Dummies, cause that's one you should've bought.